Cold in California
by othisluv
Summary: AU--“Nate, please, I just want to feel. FEEL something, anything.” He looked at her confused, this wasn’t how he remembered Peyton, but he knew what it was like to feel lost and empty.--Pathan
1. A Shell of Who We Once Were

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill, the LA Lakers, any band I may mention or any location in LA.

* * *

"Here he is ladies and gentleman, Nathan Scott, newest player for the Los Angeles Lakers. Basketball has been in his blood for a long time. Lead his high school team to a state championship a few years back, followed by 3 national championships during his four years at Duke, and now finally he has made his way to the NBA." Nathan just smirked at the statements flowing out of the mouths of the reporters after exiting the gym for the first time as a Laker.

He knew the words that were coming out of their mouths, he put them there. He had long since paid off the reporters and media to forget about the little point shaving incident in high school. He didn't want his name to be drug around with negativity; he thought of himself as basketball royalty and felt everyone else should too.

"How did your first day on the team go?"

"Do you think this is where you belong?"

"What do you plan to accomplish in the NBA?"

The reporters questions rang through Nathan's head, and he thought to himself 'it is about time I got the attention I deserve' before answering.

"First day on the team was great; there is a lot I can teach these guys. Is this where I belong? Damn straight it is. Coach would have been an idiot to pass me up. As for the NBA, they better watch out. Nathan Scott is about to take his reign." He says while winking at a blonde reporter for a local gossip magazine. He slowly places his hand over her recorder and hands her his card while saying "You should stop by around 10 tonight."

She looks at the paper square that has only his address listed and smiles. She will be there. Who would pass up the opportunity of getting with Nathan Scott, LA Laker?

Leaving the reporters behind, Nathan hopped in his newly bought Escalade and rolled out. He had received large amounts of money since the draft from advertisement deals. It was two now, and he had just enough time to hit the gym, grab a bite, and then head off to meet his teammate Skillz at the club, the same Skillz who had been his teammate since high school. They had both gone to Duke for college, and then both were drafted by the Lakers. While both of the being drafted to the Lakers had seemed unlikely, they were both happy. During their last four years at college, they had perfected their game both on and off the court. They frequented the local clubs looking for women.

Nathan quickly finished up at the gym, and grabbed a salad on his way home. He had to eat healthy. He still wanted to be on top of his game. After all, he was a Laker now. He returned to his uptown apartment overlooking the city only to prepare for a night out. He had talked to Skillz earlier and they were heading out around 7 for a few hours. Nathan marched out of his apartment without checking his reflection, he knew he looked hot. Besides he already had a sure thing coming later tonight.

* * *

Sitting at the record label she had been at for the last four years, Peyton is startled by the presence of her boss.

"Oh I must have the wrong office. No, that's me, John Knight, Label President. Last I knew, you were uh, Peyton Sawyer, Assistant to the assistant of the label president. And your desk was, where is your desk?"

"I'm sorry I was just, arranging your trades, delivering the online download reports, updating your call sheet, and admiring your view. Also, Mr. Knight, Uh, I have a couple unsigned bands that I'd really love for you to hear."

"Peyton, I'm losing my hair. I'm hung over; I have two different alimony payments due, and seven lines ringing."

"Of course."

"Sawyer."

"Yes?"

"You look good. Drop a button on that top and I'll let you sit in on the morning new music session. One button, one song. And get me some aspirin."

While she doesn't necessarily like the person she has become, she drops two buttons and makes sure he notices when she returns with his aspirin. She has learned how the LA music scene works. She gets to sit in on the meeting, and the band she likes even has a fighting chance of making it to label. Dropping the buttons was a means to an end, and she has learned to overlook the means as long as she gets the end she desires.

For the last four years, Peyton has had time to adjust to the LA lifestyle. Her career may not be where she expects it to be, but it has already landed her a lot further up than when she started. When beginning at the label, her job consisted of accepting myspace friends for three of the minor artists on the label. After catching the eye of a demo screener on the second floor, she was moved to a mail assistant. She delivered mail to everyone on the first 6 of the 10 floors of the label including the demo screener. A few months later, she really got a break when the president of the label's assistant required extra help organizing a party. That is how she got her current title, assistant to the assistant of the label president. She is still climbing the ladder and has more chances for meeting with the execs. She knows if she plays the game right, she just may get farther up the ladder.

By the time the clock turned 6, Peyton had finished everything that she needed to do for the upcoming release party. She grabbed her coat, and began her normal nightly routine. She walked down the stairs and out the door of the label building and began strolling along the sidewalk to her apartment building about a mile away.

She walked in the door, pressed play on the answering machine, and starting making dinner. Her apartment wasn't much, but it was all she could afford with her current job. The couch doubled as a bed, and the kitchen was merely a line of cabinets against the wall. But it was her apartment, and it had a good view of downtown. It was close to work and had been the only home she had for a few years now.

Her messages played on the background. "P. Sawyer, I am going to be in L.A. for a few days at the end of the month. I expect to see you at least once." Brooke would come into town every now and then promoting her fashion line. She always called Peyton and they would do dinner, but neither had much time for anything else.

"Hey Peyton, it's me Haley. I just wanted to thank you for helping me get signed at your label. I know we don't talk much, but it means a lot to me. I have missed music. I know I have spent the last four years earning my degree in teaching, but singing is what I want to be doing. Anyway, thanks again. Give me a call if you get time." Peyton believed in Haley's music. The label execs hadn't exactly wanted to listen to her to begin with saying she looked to wholesome to bring in any money, but Peyton had done what she needed to do to get one of them to listen to the demo. Once they heard it, they loved it and Haley was signed immediately. She would never tell Haley what it took to get her heard though; it was just another means to an end that Peyton would put out of her mind.

After the messages finished and dinner was done, Peyton rummaged through her closet for her night look, and headed off to the club downtown. This is where any new bands would make their appearance. Even though she didn't like the way the record industry worked, she still believed in the music and what it brought to people across the world. For this reason, she was always looking for the next great thing.

She found the clothing she was looking for, dressed quickly, and headed out.

* * *

So my plan is for a Pathan fic but I really don't know where I want to go with this, so changes may arise. The reason Nathan is single and why Peyton isn't with Lucas will be revealed eventually. We will probably see Haley and Lucas in LA at some point though along with Brooke. I am also thinking about bringing Chris Keller back into the picture somehow. Thanks for reading.

* * *


	2. A Glimpse of the Past

A/N: I don't own One Tree Hill, LA, or anything else.

* * *

It was a Friday night in downtown LA. The clubs were bustling with people who were desperate to become celebrities and make connections, people who wanted to be seen, or musicians trying to make it big but failing horribly. This is the reason Peyton Sawyer had found herself sitting at the bar. The talent out tonight was lacking, and there was no one in her opinion worthy of the effort it took to get them heard. She motioned to the bartender, and he placed a small shot glass on her napkin. He then proceeded to pour some Jack into the glass; this stout liquid had become her friend throughout her years here. She didn't have work again until Monday so she feared no consequences of letting loose tonight. The dark liquid seared her throat; she flinched briefly, but motioned for more soon following. She could feel her blood alcohol level increasing and her inhibitions lowering as she chugged down a few more. She then removed herself from the bar and headed towards a guy in a corner that had been eyeing her for the last 20 minutes. He was tall, dark, and handsome in every essence of the words. Just what Peyton needed to take her mind off life for a little while, and he looked the complete opposite of the light blonde man who got over her in a drunken night with her best friend.

She still recalls the day from two years ago as if it were yesterday.

"_Peyton?" Brooke says concerned as Peyton doesn't ever call her during the work week._

"_Brooke" She says holding back sobs._

"_What's wrong P.?" She asks but already knows the answer._

"_He left. He proposed to me? I wasn't ready. I told him someday. I just….I wanted more time before moving back. I didn't think he would leave. I've lost him. I can't believe I lost him." She lets the sobs flow freely for the boy she thought would be her forever._

"_Peyton, I don't want to tell you this, but I can't lie to you after everything we have been through. I made a mistake." She says with a tear rolling down her face. She looks down at the blonde whose head is resting on her naked stomach. _

"_He came to New York, I shouldn't have. But I can't tell him no. Things went too far. I'm so sorry." Peyton could hear the regret sounding off in her friends voice, but it didn't make the blow any less painful. How could he just put her out of his mind so quickly and run to the arms of Brooke. She was way too tired to start this ugly cycle over. She vowed then and there that no matter what happened, he would never get to her again._

_With that Peyton hung up the phone. It wouldn't take her long to forgive her friend. She knew what Lucas could do with his words. After all, she had never really been able to say no to him either. Lucas she would not speak to again._

* * *

Nathan had met Skillz outside the club to discuss their plan of attack. Tonight they would divide and conquer. They noticed the plethora of women entering the club, and decided it would not be hard to get their attention tonight. Nathan entered and immediately caught the eye of 90 percent of the women there. Skillz followed and gained a number of stares himself. It wasn't long until both had found their way to bar, only to be offered numerous drinks by numerous women. It seemed that they could have their choice of women this Friday night.

Nathan allowed several shots to go down roughly before approaching his prey. He was debating on whether he should wear his wedding band tonight. He had found that women liked thinking that they could cause a man to stray, and he found pleasure was much higher in circumstances of thrill. He felt no remorse for using a symbol of his life with Haley as a means to get women. After all, she had given up on him. Not that he was sad, after starting Duke, he felt tied down by a wife, and quickly began to regret marrying before setting off into the world.

"_Haley" He said softly while looking at the somber figure looking into the blazing flames of fire._

"_I can't do this anymore. You know why, so I am not going to explain. Here is my wedding band. I won't be needing it." She said it calmly without making eye contact. She arose from her spot on the sand, walked into the house and brought out her bags that had been previously packed._

"_Have a nice life" He told her as she got into her car and drove off._

* * *

Skillz noticed a short brunette in the corner who seemed to be having a good time with her friends. She was paying no attention to the NBA players when they entered the bar. He liked a challenge.

"Damn, you fine girl" he said while sliding between her and the wall.

"Ha ha, how did you know, you didn't even ask me how I was doing and let me answer." She paused "You must be psychic." Damn and stupid he thought. He slowly backed away. "I'll be back later." He had been down that road before in the form of Bevin. He wasn't sure he wanted to go back.

"_You're pregnant" He asked Bevin._

"_I am so sorry. It's Tim's. He told me you were drafted and I just couldn't bear the thought of you going off to war, and me not knowing when and if you would come back. And Tim was so sweet. I'm sorry."_

"_I was drafted to play B-bal at Duke, not go off fightin' some war. But its okay you made a bed, now you got to stay in it. Nice knowing you." _

"_But Skillz, I still want to be with you." He thought he loved her, but she sure shifted her affections easily. Skillz didn't need that kind of love, and he couldn't raise another man's baby. And so was the start of Bevin and Tim._

Thoughts of Bevin slowly escaped his brain, as he spotted a tall blonde out of the corner of his eye. A green mini skirt accentuated her long legs. While a black halter let shine the hourglass figure she possessed. Skillz had seen hot women before, but she looked oddly familiar.

He slowly made his way towards the figure. "Mm mm mm, you be looking good girl."

* * *


	3. Filling the Void

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill.

A/N: I know Peyton and Nathan have lost some of their morals along the way. So sorry if you don't like reading them that way, but it will likely get worse before it gets better. Also, I am not done revealing pieces of the past to you. There is just not any of the past in this chapter.

* * *

Peyton was steadily making her way to the other end of the club. She still had the attention of the good-looking man in the corner. They flirtatiously smiled to each other, until something else caught her attention. She heard a male voice echo behind her. "Mm mm mm you be looking good girl" It was a voice she had heard before, and even in her heavily intoxicated state she was able to associate it to a Tree Hill native.

Turning around quickly, she shouted "SKILLZ" and fell into him as way to avoid the ground.

He quickly put her back on her own personal feet. "Peyton" he said shocked to see the woman he thought was surely married to Lucas by now, not that he would know. Lucas had refused further contact with Skillz after he had decided to be Nate's partner in crime. "Are you drunk?" he asked surprised at the strong odor being released as she breathed.

"Maybe just a little" She said holding her thumb and index finger close together with her hand swaying as she seemed stressed to balance her body with this action.

"A little, yeah okay" he laughed it off. It was good to see a face so familiar, but tonight was about finding the honeys and Peyton was a little too wasted to talk about her life anyway. He opted for the next best option. "Let me get your digits, and I give you mine, then maybe we can chill one day next week, when you're sober." He said giving her a card with his number. She sloppily wrote what looked like numbers on a napkin and returned the gesture.

"Well, I guess I'll see you next week." She said glancing back in the direction of her eye candy to discover he was still there.

"Later" he said while retreating back to bar. He needed to re-evaluate the faces in this club if he was going to find a girl tonight. He grabbed a seat beside Nate and began talking about his encounter with the curly blonde.

* * *

Peyton continued her path the 'hottie in the corner' as she had named him in her head. He looked even better the closer she got. When she was within a reasonable distance from him she found a place to lean against a wall. She had picked up guys before, and she had always found them more pleasant if they initiated the conversation. So she waited.

It didn't take long for the man to approach her with a grin. "Hi beautiful. Do you have a map?" Much to her surprise she has not heard this pickup line before.

"No, why?" she asks curiously, waiting to here what comes next.

"Cause I keep getting lost in your eyes." He says while staring directly into her beautiful green orbs. "I'm Jase, by the way."

"Peyton" she says seductively. His pickup may be cheesy, but his looks more than make up for it. She plans to have a good time tonight. "Do you want to dance?"

"Of course" he says in a deep voice, while taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. They then proceed to dance in a manner not suitable for children. She allows her hands to remain on muscular shoulders that can be felt through the thin green fabric of his shirt. While their bodies move in sync with the music. Peyton thinks that tonight just might be a good night. She hasn't moved like this with anyone in a while.

* * *

"Wait a minute, you said you saw Peyton. Peyton Sawyer. Here." Nathan rattled after realizing who Skillz had been talking about moments before. He hadn't seen her since leaving Tree Hill. The thought of his ex girlfriend managed to creep into his mind every time he crossed paths with a curly blonde.

"Yeah man, Peyton. She was eyeing some guy when I left her. Man, I thought she and Luke would be like welded together by now. I was off. She looks good though. We swapped digits so we can catch up one day."

"Oh, well, maybe I'll run into her later." "So you give up already on the scene tonight?"

"I got distracted. I think I should just go home bro. I ain't feeling anybody tonight." He says disappointedly while remembering his less than intelligent conversation from earlier.

"You gonna leave too?"

"Nah, I think I am going to stay a little longer." He says while paying for the drinks he purchased for a table of brunettes five minutes prior. "Besides I have time to kill before that reporter comes over anyway."

He motions to the bartender for another shot as his eyes scan the room. They land on a familiar face and jealousy overtakes his body as he watches the sensual manner of her moves. It has been four years since he has seen her and even longer since he had any claims on her, so this emotion has him puzzled, but his eyes do not move. He the man's hands guiding her hips with the music, and her hands caressing his chest. This is definitely not the girl he dated in high school, or the woman he graduated with. She has changed. This change has definitely peaked his curiosity.

The feelings of jealousy are still quite strong, so he throws back another shot, and decides to make his way to the dance floor, perhaps he can cut in. Making his way through the massive number of dancing people, he stops in the spot where they once stood only to find that they were not there anymore. He scans the room but can no longer find the curls he is looking for.

Returning to the bar and downing another shot, he scans the room once more before leaving. The club just wasn't everything he thought it would be tonight. Seeing Peyton stirred up emotions he wasn't sure he even still had, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. He had become accustomed to not caring about anything, just the amount of attention he got, so caring about someone else's action was strange. He decided to put it out of his mind for now. Upon reaching his apartment, he found the reporter, waiting beside the door.

"I was hoping you didn't forget about me" She said while he unlocked the door. "I don't know if you caught my name earlier, but I am Amy."

"Yeah, okay" he said thinking that names complicated things; he wasn't looking for a relationship just a good lay. "You coming in?" he asked agitatedly. She followed him in where he immediately took her mouth in his own. She made a mental note that no matter what happened, this was definitely worth it. He was a damn good kisser.

It wasn't long before clothes were removed and both were exhausted from their actions. Nathan leaned back against a pillow, while Amy the reporter started to move closer to Nathan on the bed.

"I am too tired to go again." He stated as if that had been why she was moving.

"Me too, I was moving to a better position." She said smiling while thinking about the previous act.

"We're finished here, you should leave." He said coldly, as if it wasn't her that he shared the intimate performance with. She was taken aback by his words, but hadn't really expected much more. She had heard the rumors about his behavioral patterns. It seems she wasn't the first he used as a release, and she sure wouldn't be the last. So she gathered her clothes and walked out of Nathan Scott's flat as he drifted off to sleep. Meanwhile a similar chain of events was happening at a certain woman's one room apartment not that far away.


	4. Just Another Morning

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill

* * *

Peyton awoke to the loud noises associated with the city; construction a block away, traffic below her window, and the loud snoring that came from her right. All of these sounds seemed amplified in her head; she supposed this was a result of the reckless amounts of alcohol she consumed the night before. She is not sure when her drinking, promiscuity, or other bad habits became part of her life, but her outlook on life was not one that made her happy. The world was a wicked place, where everyone only cared about themselves. They acted without care of the consequences or hurting the people around them. People were cold and cruel; they liked to see others in the gutter. It made them feel better about themselves. She too was guilty of the ways of human nature, after she brought home the man sleeping beside to release her womanly needs. But he had just as equally used her to release his. Her mind creeps back to the first time she ignored her conscience and sex just became another function, just like doing laundry or bathing.

It had been exactly three weeks after Lucas slept with Brooke, and she had found a band that she really wanted to get signed.

"_Peyton, what can I do for you?" Ken said, he was one of seven board members in charge of signing new bands to the label. _

_She was timid as she walked into the office, but protruded confidence. "I went out last Friday, and I found this really great band. They showed excellent self-identity, musical knowledge, a broad range of variety in their songs. They made me feel what they were playing. They would certainly sell many albums if you would just listen to them I am sure you will feel the same." She said about the band that had brought her out the funk she had been walking in. When Lucas slept with Brooke after the proposal, she was devastated. Her eyes were dead, and she thought nothing could make her feel again, but their music did. She couldn't let them get passed by. _

"_Why should I listen to them. I have heard that exact speech before." He said seemingly not listening to her words._

"_They are the type of band that can make you feel again." She said with emotions escaping in her voice. _

"_Okay, I'll tell you what I will give them a chance. But you have to do something for me." He stated while staring at her legs._

"_What can I do for you?" Peyton said suddenly uncomfortable at the direction of his eyes. _

"_Let's just say that I haven't been in a relationship for a couple of years now, and I could use some help fixing the situation. You would need to meet me at this address around 9, so we could rectify the matter." He said it as if it were the most casual statement in the world, but could notice her uneasiness. "You wouldn't have to worry about anyone finding out, and we would never discuss it again…Plus your band would get heard, and signed if your performance warranted."_

_She struggled with the deal placed before her, and ultimately decided to go through with it. While she hated herself in the morning, music was the only things she still believed in. Lucas and Brooke had destroyed her faith in people, even those you could call friends and lovers. The band got signed, and sold a couple million records. Peyton was able to read some of their fan mail and see the effects their music had on people like her. It made it somewhat worth it. And while she didn't go to such extremes often, she had repeated her actions a few more times for the sake of music, a certain James woman comes to mind._

Snapping out of her memories, she could hear the figure beside her begin to stir. She slowly opened her eyes when he spoke.

"Peyton? The door. Someone's knocking." He voiced staring at the curls before him. She arose from her spot on the bed and grabbed a robe. "You should get dressed." She told him before heading to the door. He grabbed his clothes and walked into the bathroom. "Hold on; I'm coming." She was able to spit at the knocking presence, in an attempt to stop the pounding in her head.

Unbolting the three locks, she grabbed the cold brass knob and pulled the door open, startled to see yet another Tree Hill native in Los Angeles.

* * *

Nathan awoke the next morning to his phone buzzing.

"Scott here" he whipped out after opening the device.

"Yo, Nate, I am heading to the gym, want to come?" Skillz' voice rang on the other end.

"Yeah, meet you there in ten."

"K, Ten, man." He slammed the phone shut, while throwing on his black sleeveless and

white gym shorts.

Ten minutes later, he had made his way to the gym, and had found Skillz sitting at a weight bench.

"Hey man, you find any ladies at the club last night." Skillz asked wondering if he missed anything after he left the club early.

"Nah, I saw Peyton, but she was gone before I could say 'hi'" Nathan shot disappointedly, still trying to wrap his head around his feeling of jealousy the night before. Changing the subject in his mind "The reporter came by after the club, so it wasn't a completely wasted night."

"I swear man; you get women without even looking. I got them stupid male reporters all over my ass. And they don't quite fit my needs, you know what I say?'

"That's cause all the women want to cover me, and get a shot at all of this" he said displaying his arm muscles and body.

"Yeah, whatever." They continued the rest of their workout in silence, both proud of their bodies, and their positions in life, NBA players.

Leaving the gym, they headed towards the sub sandwich shop around the corner for lunch.

"You gonna try to catch up with Peyton sometime this week?" Nathan asked Skillz as he finished his bite of sandwich.

"Yeah, I don't know about you, but I miss Tree Hill every now and then. It is good to see people. Maybe we should all go out sometime. I'll see if she'd be up for that sometime."

"I know what you mean, I love my life, but we are definitely not in Tree Hill anymore. I would love to find out what's happening with Peyton." This sentence was definitely not a lie. Since seeing the tall blonde the night before he hadn't been able to shake her from his mind.

"So you want to meet up and go to Barley's around 6 to watch the game?" Barley's was a bar and grille downtown that played the college ballgames on a big screen. They had drinks, good food, and plenty of company.

"Yeah, man, see ya then." Nathan returned to his apartment and began scrolling through the internet for comments to boost his ego on one of his many fan sites.

* * *

Upcoming chapters: So another Tree Hill native is in town, but who? Don't worry if it isn't who you think. She won't be the last to come to LA. Skillz might get lucky. And will Peyton and Nathan finally meet again? Also don't be discouraged that we still haven't seen Keller, it might take a while but I still plan to bring him into the story.


	5. Setup For Disaster

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill

* * *

Peyton stood in the doorway confused as to why the woman at her door had come to visit her. "Rachel? What are you doing here?"

"Hey, I know we were never really friends, but I don't really know what I am doing anymore. I kind of stole your address out of Brooke's planner a few weeks ago. So do you think we could talk?" she rambled looking at the floor unsure if the blonde would talk to her let alone allow her in her apartment.

"Um…sure I guess…come on in. You can sit at the table I guess" Peyton told her motioning to the small brown table just big enough for two. Rachel walked in carrying a single black suitcase and sat down beside the table. This wasn't the confident, bitchy Rachel that everyone knew in high school, and Peyton began to wonder if everyone had changed as much as she had. She seemed scared and lost, but something was stopping Peyton from believing what she saw. Just as she finished watching the fiery haired woman settled into position, a man emerged from the bathroom.

He looked confused as he approached the two women. "Peyton, I guess I am going to go now." He said as he leaned into her and whispering the following: "Thanks for last night. If you ever want to get together again, I left my number on the bathroom sink."

She blushed thinking about the night before, but whispered back. "Yeah, you might just hear from me again, Jase." He planted a kiss on her cheek before leaving the one room apartment. Damn he looked good, she thought as he walked out the door. Her attention was then refocused on the other occupant of the room.

"So, Rachel, why don't you give me a minute to change, and then we can talk about whatever it is that you want to talk about?" Rachel nodded and Peyton disappeared briefly. She returned to the room, and grabbed two drinks from the fridge. "So what it is that you wanted to say?"

Rachel began to speak. "I don't have any money, and I kind of need a place to stay? I was hoping that maybe I could crash here for a few days until I figured out what to do next. I would have gone to someone else, but I don't know anyone." Peyton didn't want to say yes. She had never been particularly fond of Rachel, especially after she threw herself at the then married Nathan in high school. But there was something broken inside the woman who sat before her now, and if anyone knew how to be broken it was Peyton. For this reason, she had to say yes, but not without explanations.

"Rachel, I will let you stay here, but you have to tell me what has happened. Last time, I spoke to Brooke, you were modeling and making damn good money. So what went wrong?"

Rachel had come to Peyton not only because she was the only person she knew in LA but because Peyton might be the only one who would understand. When Brooke had found out, she had fired her. Money started dwindling, and she lost her apartment not long after. "I've done a lot of things. About six months ago, one of the photographers offered me some ecstasy at a party. That day I had seen Cooper at a café downtown. I was feeling really bad about what happened the day Nathan and Haley were married. He hasn't forgiven me for that. I really did love him you know. But I took the X. God, it felt good to just forget about it for a little while. I kept doing it. It was really easy to get. Eventually, I had built up a resistance, so I moved on. A friend, or an acquaintance if you will, helped me try heroin. The need to have it in my body eventually overtook me. Brooke found me three weeks ago. I od'd. I thought I died. She fired me. I haven't done anything since that night, but my money has dwindled just from living expenses. I came to LA for a fresh start. I thought if there was anyone who could possibly understand it would be you. I mean, I heard that you had tried something in high school. So I was hoping you wouldn't judge me. So I got your address out of Brooke's book one day. And now I am here."

"You know, I shouldn't let you. You haven't been my favorite person ever. You convinced Mouth to run off with you only to leave him alone and in jail in Texas. Halfway across the country from Tree Hill. So don't think I like you, just that I have been in some low places, so you can stay for a few days." Something about Rachel's new sad state seemed odd and out of place, but she had been in low places before, and if Rachel's story was true, she didn't want her to be on the streets, she wanted her to get the fresh start she wanted.

"Thank you, Peyton. I'll get out of your hair as soon as I can. I have a modeling job this afternoon so I will be getting some income going."

"Well, here is a spare key. I have to go buy some groceries so that I won't starve. Is there anything you want while you are here?"

"No, thanks though, and again thanks for letting me stay." Peyton walked out the door, and Rachel began preparing for her modeling job that afternoon.

* * *

Skillz had been trying to decipher the number written on the napkin for a about thirty minutes now, but evidently Peyton couldn't write when she was drunk. He wanted to call her and catch up, but wasn't sure if that was going to happen. He soon began calling numbers that he thought were written.

"Yo, is this Peyton?"

"Uh No, you must have the wrong number." Said a sweet voice on the other end.

"That's okay you sound cute. What you look like?"

The dial tone rang through loud and clear after the last statement.

"Damn, guess I'll try again."

He continued dialing until he finally heard a familiar voice on the other end.

"Yo, Peyton?" He questioned.

"No, but this is her place. Can I take a message?"

"Yeah, tell her that Skillz will be at Ozone tonight at 9 if she wants to catch up. And tell her that Nathan will probably show too. I don't if she knows he is town, but we both are. So yeah if you could just let her know. Thanks. Hey, before I let you go, can I ask who it is?"

"Rachel"

"Rachel, as in Rachel Gatina, who tried to break up my boy and his wife senior year, and then screwed with Mouth's head."

"Yeah, that's me. Gotta go or I'm gonna be late."

"Damn" Skillz thought "We done brought Tree Hill drama to LA. These people better watch out."

* * *

Sorry it took so long for me to post. I have had it written for a while, but then I rewrote it, and I still don't know if I like it. I thought about making it Brooke, Haley, or even Lucas, but I really wanted to add Rachel to the story. And the others will be written in eventually. Also, I will try to get the next chapter out there sooner. Thanks for reading...and Reviewing ;)


	6. This Could Be the Night

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill

* * *

It had been a long day of workout, but Nathan found himself suddenly energized thinking about heading out for the night. Skillz had told him about calling Peyton and leaving the message to meet at Ozone. He still couldn't explain the feeling that kept creeping upon him when he thought about the blonde. As he buttoned the last few holes on his medium blue shirt, he heard a knock at the door. Knowing it should be Skillz, he yelled "It's open, man."

"Yo dawg, you ready to go yet."

"Just a few more minutes I still got to brush my teeth."

"You are taking longer than a woman to get ready tonight, you know something I don't. Oh wait a minute. You think Rachel will come too, don't you? She wanted you in high school, you could probably hook up with her still."

"Dude, shut up, I don't want to get with Rachel. I just feel like taking my time getting ready. You don't know what is like. It takes longer when you have hair." He said while patting Skillz on his bald head while walking to the closet to pull out black leather jacket. "Besides, I am ready now."

"Good, and your just jealous, you can't pull of the shaved head like I can."

"Yeah, whatever, let's go."

* * *

After going to the grocery store, Peyton found herself in a small art gallery on the opposite end of town. She had only found herself in art galleries on days when she wasn't sure who she was anymore. Looking at the colorful displays of imagery painted on canvases that had once been white always made her feel better, but it was never as reassuring as she hoped it would be. She wanted the art to tell her that she was doing something right, that her life was going in the right direction, and it never did. She sadly knew it wouldn't anytime soon.

She felt as though she were falling further into a life she never wanted. She never wanted to be a faceless person in a crowd of millions, the easy woman in clubs at night, or the lost girl with the bitter outlook on love, but it was who she was now. She had music in her life, the one thing that still made sense, all of her other actions in life were either to promote great music or fill the void space so that she didn't have time to think.

As she was leaving the gallery, she felt her phone vibrate once indicating a voice mail. So she placed the phone to her ear and listened as the voice of her boss filled her head.

"Peyton, hey, I know you are off this weekend, but one of the singer/songwriters is in town tonight and was hoping to have someone to go out with. So we need you to be his pal for the night. You know the drill. Anyway, meet him at Ozone around 8:45. He will be at the label's reserved table."

While she had planned to go out tonight, she hadn't planned on having to be polite. Most of the artist she was forced to entertain were the ones that no one was aching to take out. They were generally creeps who thought they deserved the world. But she welcomed the distraction, she could put off how miserable she had become for another day. She began making the long walk home.

* * *

The club was bustling with people, most of them in their early twenties. There was a rock band playing on the stage across the room, and the dance floor was full. Nathan and Skillz had arrived a little after eight and found a sofa in the corner to settle.

"Yo man, you want a drink?" Skillz offered while standing up, trying to make his voice heard over the music.

"Yeah I guess one won't hurt." Nathan normally tried to avoid alcohol but tonight he felt that a drink would help calm his nerves.

"All right, be back in a minute then."

Nathan's eyes kept wandering around the club searching for the woman from his past, but he could not find her. He looked at his watch to find it said 8:40, and mumbled to himself 'dude chill, she was supposed to be here at nine. Why am I so worked up about this. It is just Peyton'

"Dude, what you say about Peyton, do you see her?"

"Nothing man, I was just talking to myself. Thanks for the drink."

"No problem" Skillz started as he settled down onto the chair opposing Nathan. "So you want to tell me what's gotten into you tonight?" Nathan began looking around again, he knew seeing Peyton again was making him nervous, but he didn't know why, let alone enough about what was going on in his head to explain it to someone else.

* * *

Peyton had hurried home after the art gallery, showered and threw on her entertaining outfit. It was a green dress with brown boots and adorning jewelry, it screamed music lover and definitely accentuated her figure. Rachel had not been around for the hour that Peyton had been preparing so she left a note, saying if she didn't come home tonight, not to worry, and told her to make herself at home.

She walked into the music filled club, hoping that the musician she was entertaining tonight was one that had personally touched her, but knowing in the back of her mind it was unlikely. She headed to the table small table in the middle of the back wall. It had been deemed her label's private table for the last 4 years. Their acts frequented this particularly club; however, the table was only used by the lucky people who got to entertain musicians, never a record executive with any real power.

She could see the figure of a man as she approached the wall and soon realized this was going to be a long night. She approached the table with caution.

"Chris Keller, didn't even know you were on the label." She said before he could turn around.

Slowly looking at the woman "Curly, Peyton, right? So your friends are still talking about how good I am in bed, so good in fact that you came all the way across the country to get some of Chris Keller!"

"Didn't I slap you once? Chris Keller is a little slow, huh? I am only here to keep my job which by the way is in LA."

"Glad to hear you have missed me. And by the way" he said mocking her previous choice of words "I just signed with the label. You know, you aren't going to get very far if you don't keep up with what's going on and who's being signed."

"You're lucky I have to be civil." She said plastering a fake smile on her face. She wasn't completely appalled by the man beside her. He still had the sarcastic manner with the huge ego, but he had grown quite handsome in the years of absence.

"Well, don't be civil just because of me, I like my women with a little bite." He said it flashing her a smile and batting his blue eyes in her direction. "I also like them with a little alcohol. Can I get you something to drink?"

"It would be for the best. A shot of Jack if you don't mind."

"A whiskey girl, nice." He looked around for a traveling bartender. "Miss, hi, can we get a few drinks here. I'll have gin, and the lady here would like a shot of Jack, but if our history is an indicator of the evening, she will probably need a few more. Thanks."

"So what is with the "thanks" and calling me a "lady"? Doesn't sound very Keller-like."

"Well, maybe I only like acting like a jerk around Tree Hill residents. No, that's not it. She looked what barely 18, and stressed, she wouldn't have been able to handle Chris Keller's normal charms."

"Wow, how very decent of you."

The waitress soon returned with the drinks and they both downed what was in front of them, flinching as the liquids seared their throats. "Well, curly, do you dance?" He said reaching for her hand.

"I am your paid friend for the night, if you dance, I do."

"Well, you do then, and with that attitude Chris Keller should have a good night." He mumbled before leading her to the dance floor.

* * *

"So you want to tell me what's gotten into you tonight?" Skillz words rang through the music.

"Nothing, so you think Rachel gave her the message." Nathan asked as he felt a pair of hands trace his shoulders.

"No, I don't" Skillz said laughing at the shock on Nathan's face.

"Rachel, hey, how you been?"

"I've been better" she said as settled onto the couch beside Nathan's strong figure. "So I heard you are single now. And a Laker. Life must be good, huh?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

"So Rachel, where's Peyton?" Skillz chimed in.

"She didn't come home when I was there so I didn't get to tell her." She thought to herself for a moment, then spoke again. "Guess I could have written a note, oops." She said trying to laugh it off.

"You want something to drink?"

"Sure, can I get a cosmo?"

"Yeah, be back in a minute, you chill with Nathan." He said winking at the other man.

"So…" she said seductively while placing her hand on his shoulder making note of the muscles present.

"So…" he said awkward with moment. It was at this moment he caught sight of the blonde curls dancing with a man he detested.

Rachel had taken his arm in her other hand, hoping to attract his attention away from the dance floor, but not realizing it was Peyton who had caught his attention.

He stared ahead hoping his eyes were betraying him, that she wasn't dancing with the devil. He could feel the anger rising. Why would she do this to herself, getting involved with him. He had to turn his head away from the sight to gain composure, but found Rachel sitting extremely close.

"Look Rachel" He released himself from her grasp. "I know you were interested in hooking up in high school, it seems you still are, but I'm still not. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I didn't really think you would, but I had to try right? Besides it has been a while since I've gotten any?" She said while looking around in hopes of finding another man to seduce. She had gone without men longer than she had been without drugs, and she didn't intend to leave the club alone.

"Glad to see you're still blunt." They shared a smile of understanding, both knowing they might gain friendship but nothing more.

"So if you're single, I have heard about your reputation, I worked with some models that you hooked up with. So what is that has your attention?" She asked curious to know why he shot down her advances.

"I wish I could tell you, but I am not even sure myself. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"How did you and Peyton end up living together?" He focused on her intently.

"I am only staying there for a few days until I can find something else. I just came to LA yesterday. It is a long story, and one I don't know if I want to share yet, but luckily Peyton put aside her dislike for me and let me in. Despite the fact that she was entertaining, if you know what I mean." She stated it casually noticing how interested he now seemed in her words. "Wait a second. This has something to do with Peyton, why you don't want to hook up, doesn't it?"

"I haven't talked to her in a like five years, of course it doesn't, I just didn't know how you two of all people were living together?" She could see the way he was avoiding eye contact and knew that even if they hadn't spoken, there was definitely something about Peyton that was pulling on Nathan's emotions.

"Here's your drink, Rachel."

"Thanks" she said giving Skillz a smile.

* * *

Thirty minutes of dancing, drinks, and a few sarcastic comments later, Peyton felt somewhat happy to be around Chris. They had traded banter all evening, but the tone had changed from hate to fun. Peyton attributed it to the shots she did earlier, but allowed herself to have a good evening. Chris has been surprised at how pleasant the evening was going as well, and decided to chance it.

"So I specifically remember telling you could hang a flyer in the record store if you would remove your shirt. If my memory serves me correctly, you hung the flyer. So?"

Peyton wasn't surprised by anything Chris said, so she just took this comment and decided to have fun with it. So she leaned to his ear with a smile and began speaking. "Well, if I remember correctly, you only wanted me to remove my shirt because it was 'emo' so I don't think it would have the same effect now, would it?"

Chris laughed at the fact they could both remember so many details of their first encounter. "Oh I think the effect would be better now. How about we get out of here?"

"Why not." She said taking his hand and leading him out of the club.

* * *

Nathan meanwhile had allowed his eyes to wander back to the dance floor, and saw Peyton whispering something in Keller's ear. Then she did something he would have never expected. She took his hand and led him out. Nathan was afraid to let his mind wander. His feelings of jealousy over Peyton and the feelings of hate for Keller were making sitting still extremely complicated.

"Hey guys, look I've got to get out of here. You guys should stay and hang out though." They could see the sweat on his forehead.

"Yeah, okay, Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just have to get out of here." He said before quickly finding the exit.

He was able to spot Peyton and Chris outside walking across the street. They were walking in the direction of his loft so he decided to quietly fall behind them as not to attract attention. He was much surprised when they approached his building and he saw the elevator stop on his floor. Was Chris Keller really staying in the same building on the same floor, and was he really taking his ex to his room? Nathan waited a few minutes before getting in the small elevator. He wanted to avoid any confrontations that would occur if he found them still in the hallway.

* * *

"So, are you coming in?" Chris said, frustrated at the turn the night had taken. Somewhere along the walk home, hostility had taken over again. But he thought they could still release their frustrations together so to speak.

"That depends, if I don't, are you going to tell the record company I was a crappy hostess? Cause I really need this job, and if you are I guess I have no choice." She said hoping she could get out of finishing the evening with him, but she wasn't lying. Losing the job would change her life, and she didn't know if she could survive doing anything else for a living.

"Look, Chris Keller can get women so it is not like I need this. I'll tell everyone at the label you were great at entertaining me so you can keep your job no matter what you decide. I won't sleep with you knowing you are only doing it to keep your job. But know this, I'm in town for a while, so we will be seeing a lot of each other. You will be begging to be with this by time it is all over." And with that he walked in his apartment, and slammed the door, leaving Peyton in the hallway.

She slowly walked towards the elevator, now wanting the night to end. Chris wasn't going to force her into anything, and quite honestly she was a little surprised. But nothing could prepare her for what was on the other side of the shiny brass doors that quickly opened.

"Nathan?" She felt the intensity of his cold blue eyes. She had heard he was playing for the Lakers, but had never imagined running into him.

"Peyton, hey… Where's Keller?" He asked coldly, remembering the smile that had been on her face when she whispered in Chris's ear earlier.

"In his apartment, how did you know I was with him? Have you been following me?"

"No, I saw you at the club, and I happen to live here. You two looked very friendly. I thought you would have been staying in his apartment tonight." He scoffed thinking about the beautiful woman before him and the a-hole whom tried to steal his wife those years ago.

"Yeah, well, he didn't want to." She was angry that Nathan, the man she hadn't spoken to in a long time had the nerve to comment on her life, she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing she didn't want to stay with Chris.

"God Peyton, what are you doing to yourself? You know you are worth so much more than Keller…" He asked while quickly invading her personal space, and causing her to thump the wall next to his door with her back.

"You know what, you don't know me…last time I checked this is the first time we've spoken in 4 or 5 years… so maybe you should just stay out of it…" she spat the words while crossing her arms and turning her head to look at anything but the fire in his pale blue eyes.

"Fine, glad to see the girl I dated comeback after all these years. You know the bitchy one?" By this time she could feel his breath on her neck, and she was growing angrier. Did he really just call her a bitch?

"Fuck off. Nathan Scott is obviously still an asshole." As their argument escalated, Nathan found himself turned on, it reminded him of old times.

He lowered his voice and she could no longer avoid looking at his face. "Yeah well, the asshole in me used to love the bitch in you." If Peyton wasn't so angry at the nerve of the man before her, she would be in hysterics on the floor. During an argument only he could you use a line like that and get away with it.

The silence that followed was deafening, but Nathan did the only he knew how when fighting with Peyton; he forcefully took her lips in his own. Peyton resisted briefly, but had become all too aware of the sexual tension between her and Nathan. Soon the door to the apartment was forced open, and the two entered while never losing contact.

* * *

--So I know this was a long chapter, but I wanted to get the first Pathan encounter in. Also, not so sure I did Chris Keller any justice, but I hope you continue to read. And I hope you enjoy.


	7. Bringin' On the Heartache

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill.

* * *

Passion had filled the air of Nathan's beautiful loft, and he and Peyton now lay entwined in his king size bed with twisted sheets a few pillows. Peyton allowed her head to rest on his bare muscular chest when they both collapsed with exhaustion. She ran her fingers up his hard tan muscles.

"So what was this?" She asked with hopeful eyes. She had to admit to herself that what she and Nathan shared moments before was stronger than anything she felt in a long time. But the feelings of hope faded when the response was blank and she heard Nathan's breathing slow. He had experienced the same thing she had, yet had fallen asleep without a word. She laid her head back down deciding to stop analyzing things, there would be plenty of time for regret in the morning.

Nathan awoke once in the night, only to open his eyes and find the mass of curls still lying on his torso. It was the first time in years he had fallen asleep with a woman in his bed, and he had to admit it felt nice. He had been so used to finding a girl in a club and insisting on knowing as little as possible, only to ask her to leave when they were done. But he couldn't do that to Peyton, they were different, they had a history, and there was a connection. His thoughts soon put him back to sleep for a few more hours.

Peyton winced at the sunlight coming through her eyelids; she felt the cool air hitting most of her body. She opened her eyes to find herself alone in a large bed in a light room that was not her own. There were windows lining the wall that overlooked the city below, and she knew that the NBA was paying off for Nathan. She thought back to the events from the night before, the anger, the passion, and then the return of emptiness.

"Good morning, I see you still hate waking up as much as ever." Nathan walked into the room carrying two orange juices. He noticed her looking out the window. "It's nice, huh? Sometimes I sit there and just stare out, for hours, mostly in the morning. It reminds me that the world can still be beautiful."

She took the orange juice he was offering and wrapped the sheet around her body, suddenly embarrassed at her current state, even though it was nothing he had never seen before. "It is beautiful." She said while a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Peyton, what's wrong?" He slowly sat on the bed beside her.

"Nothing." She didn't know why she was crying. "I have to go." She quickly got up and gathered her clothing, which could be traced to the door.

"Wait, why? You should stay." He didn't know what he wanted with Peyton, but he knew he felt better knowing that she was in his apartment. Today, he wanted her company. Maybe it was their past, but the last few years of his life had been mostly free of emotions, and something about being with her allowed him to feel somewhat happy.

"I can't. Look, I don't know what you thought last night was, but we don't even know each other anymore. This was like a random hookup with a stranger. God knows I've had enough of those. It didn't mean anything. If it did, it would just end up hurting. I hope everything goes great for you in the NBA." She said as she slammed the door of his top floor loft. Emotions opened the door for heartbreak, and even though it had been years, she still wasn't ready to feel that kind of pain again. She definitely wasn't going to let Nathan hurt her again. She let her back rest against the door, and she released a breath. While Nathan stood there with his eyes closed, praying she would turn around, but hating her for saying it meant nothing. He was startled by his phone ringing, but he answered it.

"Yeah" he spat knowing that today was going to be long.

"Yo, man what is your problem? First, you were acting all girly, then you looked all panicked and now you are angry. Do you need estrogen, are you going through 'the change'?"

"Skillz, could you just give it a rest, and leave me alone for a little while." He said slamming his phone closed and pulling out a bottle of dark liquid he had hidden in the back of a cabinet.

* * *

"Curly, what are you still doing here, if you had changed your mind you could have knocked and Chris Keller would have gladly opened." He said flashing a signature grin.

"You know what, Chris, I don't need this right now. Do you think you could just leave me alone?"

"Well, I could, but if you will check your messages, I believe it will say that you are supposed to show me where the studio is today, and introduce me to a few of the other artists."

"Uhh, could this day get any worse? I have to go home and change. Can you give me a few minutes at least?" She snapped in his direction. She wasn't prepared for dealing with him today.

"Okay, just don't kill me. Can I walk you to your apartment? You don't seem well." He asked confused as to why she was still outside his apartment wearing the same clothes as last night. Had he attracted a crazy stalker?

"Fine, but can we not talk?"

"Sure, whatever you want." They took off down the hallway and back to Peyton's apartment building. They didn't speak, just looked directly at the path they were taking. Peyton in a daze, and Chris worried about the woman he was accompanying. Something he rarely did.

* * *

Chris was in the hallway waiting by the door, when Rachel came walking up. "Chris Keller, what are you doing? Did you run out high school girls to seduce?" She asked referring to his kiss for Haley, and his hookup with Brooke.

"Ha ha, funny. Your just jealous you never had the Keller."

"Whatever. But really, what are you doing outside this door?"

"I am waiting on Peyton, she is supposed to take me to the recording studio. She has been in there for like an hour, check on her would you?"

"Ha ha, she wouldn't let you come in. I knew I liked her for a reason." She said while entering the apartment, and closing the door, leaving Chris alone again in the quiet rundown hallway.

* * *

"Peyton, are you in here? Keller's worried."

"Yeah, I'm here."

Rachel slung her head out the door, "She's fine" and then retreated.

"So why is Chris Keller outside your door?"

"Not that it matters, but we ran into each other this morning, and I had to come back and change before showing him some things to do with the label."

"Do you use your apartment? I have been here a day and have seen you five minutes. Well, I guess haven't really been here either. Nevermind."

"What you already found somewhere, or just someone?" Peyton quipped sarcastically.

"Someone, not that it matters. But I saw Skillz and Nathan last night? Don't worry I didn't hookup with Nathan." She said referring to one of the reasons Peyton disliked her in the first place. She had hit on Nathan while he and Haley were expecting a child.

"I know"

"Well, I didn't really hookup with anyone, but I spent a night talking with a guy, which in itself is amazing because, well, I like sex. But anyway, it was pretty great. Wait…you know? How?"

"Doesn't matter." She said coldly, regretting that she opened her mouth in the first place.

"Yeah, okay, but the only way you could know that I didn't hook up with Nathan is if you saw me go home with someone or if you hooked up with him yourself. The last one sounds more likely considering my conversation with Nathan last night."

Peyton didn't comment on the redhead's remark, simply finished applying her eyeliner hoping the subject could be changed. "So you spent the whole night talking, must have been some guy?"

Rachel gave her a knowing look. "Oh my God, you did hook up with Nathan. Wait, I thought you and Haley were friends, Brooke says she is hoping one day they can get past their issues and get together again. But Brooke was your friend too, and it didn't seem to matter with Lucas." Rachel noticed the water forming in the blondes eyes at the mention of his name. "Sorry I thought you were over him, it's been what 3 years? I wouldn't have said his name if I'd have known you hadn't got over it." Rachel was sorry to upset Peyton. She had after all allowed her to stay in her apartment, and she knew what it was like to not be over an ex. Cooper had been a lingering feeling in her heart until just recently.

"Look, Rachel, it's okay. Thanks for caring. It's stupid, you know, I should be able to talk about him by now. I just really did want to marry him someday, but if I would have said yes, it would have been too late to find out what a jerk he really is. I mean I said someday, and the next night he was in Brooke's bed, Brooke of all people. Sorry to unload on you. Thanks for listening. It is kind of nice to have someone to talk to, I have been in LA for so long without any real friends I kind of forgot what it was like."

"It's no problem really, I know what it is like to need a friend who isn't just trying to get down your pants."

"Look, if you ever want to talk about Cooper or the drugs or anything else, I'm here, okay?" She said surprised at the friendship beginning between the two.

"Thanks, but I'd rather talk about you and Nathan hooking up. So is he better than you remembered?"

"I don't know what I was thinking. How could I have slept with Nathan?" Peyton sighed looking at herself in the mirror. She wasn't very proud of the woman she saw looking back. "Crap, I forgot about Chris. I have to go. Are you gonna be here tonight?"

"Yeah. Thanks again for letting me stay."

"No problem. I'll be back soon with any luck." She said referring to the fact that Chris Keller was waiting for her.

* * *

"Finally" Chris said standing up from his spot on the frayed hallway carpeting.

"Let's just go."

"We could have been gone an hour ago if you weren't so slow."

"Sorry, I had to shower." She said leaving him behind her as she walked towards the stairs.

"And you didn't want Chris Keller to join you?"

"This really is going to be a long day." She said to herself as they descended the stairs.

* * *

Nathan was staring out his bedroom window overlooking the city. He had sent the maid away and the room looked as it did when Peyton walked out earlier that morning. He was lying against the headboard falling asleep; all the while the room seemed to be spinning.

"Yo, man you don't look so good." Skillz said walking into Nate's apartment and bedroom.

"What are you doing here? I thought I said I wanted to be alone."

"Man, I ain't trying to be a pain, but you didn't sound good when I talked to you earlier, I wanted to be sure you weren't doing anything stupid. We can't screw up now that we made it to the NBA. How much you drink?" He showed concern for his friend. While Nathan was outwardly confident, and seemed okay most of the time. He had moments where memories and pain brought him pretty low. It was these moments that scared Skillz. Nathan had done some stupid shit like wrecking the racecar when Haley left the first time, and he didn't want a repeat.

"Just enough to get a buzz."

"Aight, so where did you rush off to last night?"

"I saw Peyton with Chris Keller, turns out he lives across the hall. Great, right?" He said with sarcasm.

"Wait, Peyton slept with Chris Keller? Damn, how does he get all the honeys from Tree Hill in his bed?"

"She didn't sleep with him, she slept with me."

"Wait, what?" Skillz said obviously confused as to how this might have happened.

"I saw her with Keller, he lives across the hall, so I found her in the hallway. I started an argument with her. Man, how could she have even wanted that asshole? Anyway, I started off so angry with her for being with him last night, and then something clicked in my head and I thought 'wow, she is still really sexy when she is angry." He said all of this while never losing focus of the city below his room. But the last sentence offered up a smirk from his face. "Things just kind of went from there."

"So you think she is sexy, and you slept with her. Then why the hell you so moody?"

"I was hoping she would spend the day here, but she said it was nothing more than sleeping with a stranger. I guess that is what happens when you quit talking to old friends." Nathan finished, but that wasn't all that was bothering him. "You know it has been it has been 5 years today? I just didn't want to spend it alone, thinking about how bad I screwed up back then."

"Yeah, I wasn't going to mention it until you did. We all make mistakes man. You can't keep beating yourself up forever. How about we go out and get something to eat, then we can find something to do for the rest of the day. Sitting here isn't going to do you any good." He said throwing Nathan some clean clothes off his dresser.

Minutes later, Nathan emerged from his room, hoping that the past would leave him alone if he kept himself occupied.

* * *

A/N: Peyton and Nathan don't get to ride off into the sunset just yet. They both obviously still have some issues to deal with. Just don't get discouraged, they are endgame no matter what.


	8. Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill, and Blacklight Spinning is a name I made up for the group, so if they really exist, well, I do not own them either. Also, I want to apologize for the incredibly long wait in between chapters. I worked last weekend so there was no day off for me to be creative. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

* * *

The sun was slowly rising to the center of the sky over the city of Los Angeles, and Peyton Sawyer had watched it from the window in her one room apartment. She had been staring out the window since she returned from showing Chris the studio earlier in the morning. Nathan's words were echoing through her head. He had said that 'it reminded him that the world could still be beautiful.' She was desperately searching for a beautiful world, but that was something she couldn't bring herself to believe in. She didn't know why she had chosen to sleep with him. She almost felt as though she made no choice, that the memories and his actions spoke before she had a chance to say think. But she knew if it was something she really didn't want she would never had done it. The fact that she so easily fell into bed with someone who actually knew her took her by shock. Had sex really become an act she thought about so little before doing? All indications were pointing to yes; otherwise, she would have thought about how this one action could screw up friendships, even if the friendships were almost nonexistent.

She was brought from her thoughts by the loud pounding on the door. So she slowly made her way to the other side of her apartment.

"Keller, what are you doing here?" She asked obviously irritated by his seemingly constant presence in the last day.

"Well, I wanted to know if you were coming with me to the club tonight?"

"Gee, don't tell me Chris Keller can't make friends in a city full of millions. Or wait maybe his ego just doesn't allow for him and another person to be in a room at the same time."

"Ha-ha, very funny. You know these insults are not helping Chris Keller's ego?" He said sarcastically in defense of the verbal attack. "So are you coming with me or not tonight?"

"Not, you're not the only person the label pays me to hang out with. Looks like tonight is Blacklight Spinning's turn." She said referring to the first major label band she has ever been asked to entertain.

"Fine, your loss. Have fun with Backwood Spitters. I'm out." He quipped mocking the name of the band. "Looks like Chris Keller will be available for the other women out there." He stated loudly while retreated down the hallway.

Closely the door Peyton laughed. "He is a very strange man." Then she looked at the clock seeing she wasted several hours in her stint by the window, so she made her way to the closet.

"Peyton, you here?" She heard from the closet.

"Yeah, I'm changing." She yelled back to her temporary roommate.

Peyton looked in the full length mirror one last time. She smoothed her red and black dress out, and checked her eye liner before finally exiting the closet. "Wow, you look good. You going out."

"Yeah, I have to entertain Blacklight Spinning tonight. They are one of the label's moneymakers. You are welcome to tag along; I mean there are four guys in this band who have to have fun at this club."

Rachel thought about it for a minute. She loved the group, but had other plans. "I can't. I am hanging out with Skillz tonight."

"Skillz? How did that happen?" Peyton asked curiously. They had not been one to speak much to each other in high school, and didn't realize they had enough in common to hold up a conversation.

"Yeah, last night at the club, I ran into him and Nathan. They had wanted to meet you there, but I didn't see you in time to tell you. Sorry. Anyway, Nathan started acting all funny and then left, which I guess you know since you ended up with him. So Skillz and I were left, we really hit it off. I talked about Cooper, and he talked about Bevin. Then I found out he is in the NBA, is that not totally awesome? We like a lot of the same stuff, and he has a really great sense of humor. I can't believe I never noticed him in high school."

"Wow, well, I am glad you guys hit it off. Maybe I can catch up with him sometime. So are you feeling him?" Peyton asked wondering if maybe two old acquaintances could be hitting it off. "Romantically? I mean."

"It is definitely a possibility. I mean for once, I actually feel like I don't need plastic surgery to make me beautiful or drugs to make me fun. I can be me. Just me." She bounced in a way that only a truly happy person can.

"Good for you." Peyton was glad that Rachel saw a chance to be truly happy. If Skillz had given Rachel hope in just 24 hours then maybe there was hope for her.

"Well, I have to go to now, but I promise I will find a place by the weekend? And again thanks for letting me stay here."

"You know what, you don't have to rush, and I don't really mind having you here. It is kind of nice for a change to have someone to talk to." Peyton genuinely felt that she and Rachel could form a friendship. Maybe it was all the years she had spent lonely in LA or maybe she truly liked the woman Rachel had become. "We should even have a girl's night next week. You know just forget the LA lifestyle, and stay in and order Chinese or something."

"I'd really like that, Peyton. I never thought I'd say this, but I really would like to try and be friends." They shared a brief smile. "Well, haven fun with Blacklight Spinning." With that, she left the small apartment to find Skillz.

* * *

"Peyton, right?" Todd the lead singer quizzed the sexy blonde before him.

"Yeah, that's right." She sat with her long tan legs crossed in his direction. Her short black dress rising slightly above her thigh.

"How would you like a vodka, you look like a vodka girl?"

"I am, and I would absolutely love a vodka on the rocks." She said smiling to the rest of the band.

Todd left to go get her a drink, and silence overtook their area of the dimly lit club. "So how do you guys like touring."

"It sucks."

"I hate living out of suitcase, but the benefits are worth it."

"Like the girls who throw themselves at you every night?" Peyton said smirking at the thought of the four good-looking men before her needing a rock group to get women. "Thanks" she said as Todd handed her the drink.

"That and the drugs and free shit we get." Todd added showing his content for the lifestyle he led.

"Peyton, why don't you go see if those three ladies over there would like to join our little party?" added the bassist, pointing to a blonde and two brunettes in the corner obviously plastered beyond belief.

"Sure thing." She knew that keeping this band happy could get her a step up in the company. She had come from little local bands to a major label group finally. If she did good with this, it could mean more money, more responsibility, and maybe more influence.

* * *

The group had become increasingly intoxicated as the night drew later, and the three girls invited earlier were practically all over the three instrument playing band members. Todd, however, had his sights on Peyton. He had ensured that she drank as much as she would let him buy her, and he himself was displaying behavior only likely with too much alcohol. He pretended to be interested, laughing at all his jokes, coyly smiling at him with every sip. He seemed pleased, but he had begun growing bored with the current vodka only party they seemed to be having. "I'll be right back, ok?" He said urgently, as if a light bulb popped in his head while reading the text on his phone.

"Don't take too long?" Peyton cursed herself for her behavior. When did she begin stooping to the level of giggling girlfriend? This wasn't who she was, but like the sex, this was a habit that had become all too normal for her life nowadays.

Todd returned shortly with small vile of what she knew to be cocaine. He meticulously spread it on the table with his razor and lined it into a few straight rows. He offered her the straw first, but she just shook her head softly, remembering the last time she had tried the substance.

"_The job doesn't end getting the band you know? You gotta take care of them. You gotta be part cheerleader, part babysitter, part therapist." He said offering the then 17 year old blonde a beer, she only nodded her refusal lightly._

"_It's no problem, I can handle that." She said assuring the manager willing to take a chance on her that she could take care of the task._

_"What I'm saying is…you gotta look after all their needs; food, drink, drugs."_

_"Um, drugs?" she said as she shifted uncomfortably._

_"Oh don't worry, I'll set you up with the guys I buy from." He says while revealing a small bag " They're reliable. I mean, they're drug dealers, you don't wanna mouse it or anything…but…they won't burn you." He begins lining up the white powder "I got a good sense about people. You're young but you…might be worth the risk." He hands her a rolled up dollar bill._

_"No thanks."_

_"Here's your shot kid." He says pushing the glass that the white substance is positioned on towards her. "What do you say?" A seventeen year old trying to prove that she is up for the music business. She wants to refuse, but Jake had left, Lucas and Brooke playing some sort of game together, and too much was happening. She told herself that one line of coke couldn't make things any worse than they already were. It could only help with the one thing that still made her happy. _

She spent the next few moments in a daze, wondering how the phrase 'sex, drugs, and rock & roll' originated. It was a phrase that had definitely deemed itself true in her circumstances. The rock & roll artists all seem to want sex and drugs, while the people putting the music out had to fill the desire for both. How could something so inspirational be something so immoral and self degrading.

"Peyton, here" Todd's nudging shook her from her thoughts. Everything in her head was telling her not to go through with this again. She could remember how bad she felt after emotionally and physically after the last time, but the void in her heart and life gave her all the push she needed to fit into the music scene. She gave way to temptation and took the rolled paper from Todd's hand. She closed her eyes and took in one last breath before leaning over the substance.

Ten minutes later, she felt out of control with her body. She was suddenly aware of all the noise in the club, her heart rate was speedy, and she wanted to rip the shirt off of Todd's body. He was tall, had amazing eyes, and brown hair, but she fought the urge. He seemed occupied with the blonde his drummer was talking to. Time seemed to be passing very quickly when Todd motioned for the gang to leave with him, and Peyton got up to follow him. The walk to the door of the club was long, and she wondered if she would ever find silence in her current state.

"Todd, I don't feel so good, I think I am going to sit here for a second." She said falling to the bench resting against the brick building.

"No, no, that is just the drug talking, we'll get back to the hotel and chase it with something else, and then you'll feel better." He pleaded not wanting to end his time with Peyton for the evening. He grabbed her arm to help her up, but she held firm to the bench.

"Fine, suit yourself." He huffed, and followed his crew back to the hotel. She sighed aware that her job could be jeopardized by her actions, but feeling more concerned at the feeling that existed in her body. She leaned her head back slowly, and tried to steady her heart rate, but soon darkness overtook her eyes, and her mind erased all thoughts. Her limp body fell down against the cold iron bench.

* * *

A/N: So I really debated about whether to bring drug use into the story, I know there are a lot of fictions involving Peyton and cocaine, but I feel like it is something she struggled with before, and therefore something she could struggle with again. I am sorry for those of you who don't like stories of Peyton and drugs, but this was my plan to transition to further the plot. Thanks for reading.


	9. Scars

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. Thanks to all who have reviewed. You guys are great.

* * *

Skillz had spent the day trying to make Nathan forget about past, they played basketball for a while, went to a mall, an arcade, go cart racing, but Skillz could tell the smiles on Nathan's face were a façade. That he was hiding his emotions so that Skillz could feel better. Nathan didn't want to drag his friend down with sadness. Skillz had been a true friend, they had only met in high school after Lucas joined the team, but he was always there no matter what kind of shit Nathan pulled. He wouldn't give up on his friend. Nathan tried to be a good friend back.

"Are you sure you want to just go home? We can go out you know?" Skillz said enthusiastically hoping for a happy response.

"Look, man, I appreciate everything you have done today, but I think I should just go home and go to sleep." He walked with his head facing the ground, and Skillz knew that tears were likely forming in his eyes.

"That's cool. Do you want me to hang here with ya?" He said well aware of the guilt that overtook his friend at this time every year.

"Nah, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow sometime." He just wanted to be alone. Five years had not made things any better for him. It was his fault what happened, and he wasn't sure if he would ever forgive himself.

* * *

Chris was walking by the strip of clubs, lonely. Truth was, Peyton is the only person he had to hang out with in LA, and he wasn't so good at making friends. But it startled him as he approached a bench to see a blonde who looked like she was passed out. He noticed the woman's curls, and without a second thought he increased his steps. "Peyton….Peyton?" He said while taking the woman's small frame his arms. He could see the evidence on her nose, and quickly knew what was wrong. He had heard of her past use. He got out his cell phone and quickly dialed 9-1-1. He began taking her pulse and trying to get any sign of life. The rhythm was weak, but she was alive.

Moments later the paramedics had arrived and were carting her off LA's closest hospital with Chris in tow. "What did she do?" The hasty man asked while examining the woman.

He was worried, but tried not to let it show. He was never good at showing his emotions. But his only acquaintance in LA was on the edge, and he really liked her. "I…I… don't know….I think she has done cocaine before though….so if I had to guess…yeah …that's what I'd guess….look, you have to save her okay…you can't let her die?" He said in panic at the man, the Chris Keller confidence out the window.

"Calm down, the fact that she is still alive, says she has a good chance of surviving. We see this a lot. When we arrive at the hospital they will immediately take her and start a treatment for the overdose."

The cold hospital was no comfort to the normally confident man, but the voice on the other end of the line helped. He called Peyton's apartment hoping the red head would be around to answer the phone.

* * *

Skillz had canceled their evening together because of something going on with Nate. He was impressed at the bond that had formed between the two, and it only added to the respect she had gained for the skinny, dark man. But it still didn't make her happy that she was alone tonight. She had taken the time to catch up on sleep that she neglected from the last night of conversation. It was a good sleep until she heard the phone ring.

"Hello?" She said obviously annoyed at the phone's incessant ringing.

"Rachel?" He said making sure he was talking to the right person.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"Look, it's me, Chris, something happened with Peyton tonight. She is okay now, but we are at the hospital. I didn't know if you two were close so I thought I would let you know what is going on?"

Rachel thought about the blonde who she was slowly forming a bond with. "Oh my god, what happened? Are you sure she's okay?"

"Yeah, they are finishing up tests. They are going to release her when they're done. I am going to take her back to my place so I can keep an eye on her. You are welcome to come too. I live at 6200 Broad in Apt 3602. It will probably be another hour or so."

"Yeah, I'll be there then. But wait, you still didn't tell me what happened."

"Look, when you come don't say anything because I don't know how comfortable she'll be, but I found her outside a club, her cocaine was laced with something else. If I hadn't have found her when I did, I don't know what would have happened?" He was on the verge of tears thinking about the life or death matter.

"Oh, I will be there, she is going to need us. I'm glad you were there." She said remembering her own past experience.

"Thanks, Rachel, I'll see you later." She could hear the sadness in his voice, and for a brief moment she wondered if the musician was harboring any feeling for the blonde. Then her thoughts drifted to her new friend. She hoped that they could all make it out of this life of hell they seemed to float in.

She was grabbing her bag when she heard a light tapping at the door.

"Hold on." She pulled her bag on her shoulder and answered the door.

"Haley"

"Rachel" The short brunette said coldly. "What the hell are you doing here? Isn't this Peyton's apartment?"

"Yeah, it is. She is letting me stay here. Look, I really don't have time to talk, something happened to Peyton tonight, and I really want to be there for her."

"Is she okay?" She asked shedding the hate in her voice, and replacing it with worry for the friend she once knew. "I'm coming with you."

"Fine, I will fill you in on the way over." They began their making their way across town.

* * *

"Peyton, are you comfortable?" He said checking in on the blonde who inhabited his bed.

She pulled the thick red blankets from over her face; you could see the streams of mascara that were created with tears. She gave the man a weak nod, but he could see through it.

"Oh Peyton, tell me what happened." He said sitting beside her on the bed, and slowly wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"I can't." She accepted his gesture, and found her face buried in his collar with tears escaping quickly.

He didn't know what else he could do for the broken woman, but he was going to be there for as long as she needed him.

* * *

Nathan watched as the last drop of brown liquid cleared from the bottle; he felt it sear his throat, but his emotions were still there. He picked himself up from the unmade bed, on a mission to gain more of the inebriating drink. He rummaged through his kitchen, checking in the back of the all the shiny black cabinets.

"Damn" He said out loud, thinking he had more stashed. He walked back into his bedroom to get dressed. He needed to feel less, so he was planning to buy more alcohol. He grabbed his keys and left his cold apartment.

As he closed and locked the door behind him, he turned to walk with his head down. But found something in his way. "Sorry" he muttered before looking up to find his ex-wife.

The red head walking with her noticed the tension forming between the couple she had once tried separating. "I'll just be in here" she said while backing away awkwardly. She knocked on room 3602, and was welcomed by the tall man.

Haley and Nathan watched as the two slammed the door behind him. "Was that Chris Keller?" Haley asked surprised at the circus LA seemed to be.

"Yeah, evidently he lives across the hallway, and still gets all the women from Tree Hill he wants." She could hear the bitterness in his voice, and wondered who Keller was bringing home that had him so jealous.

He hadn't seen her in four years, since the day she walked out of his life saying she couldn't do it anymore. She looked a lot healthier than she had been than when she was with him. She was more than likely a lot less stressed without him in her life. She had gained some weight, making her look healthy, and her cheeks were red. "You look good."

It was then that she noticed his appearance. His hair was pointing in multiple directions, his eyes were bloodshot, and his blue striped shirt was buttoned in the wrong button holes. She caught a whiff of his breath, and it became obvious he had been drinking. "You look like crap."

He was taken aback by her honesty, but he knew he didn't deserve her kindness. "I know, it's been five years today. But you know that already." He could feel his face burning, and he was fighting back tears. "It's been a hard day."

"Hard, you don't know what I go through every day, not just this day." She felt the tears flowing from her brown eyes, as she leaned against the wall for support.

"Haley, I do know, I am sorry. You shouldn't have to be going through it."

"Yeah, well, it is your fault, we are going through this." The hate showing through stung his heart, and only confirmed the feelings that he was to blame.

"I never meant for this happen. I was trying to help our family, I had no idea it would destroy it." The tears were filling his eyes quickly, but he didn't want to show his weakness. "When I held him the first time, I was so scared that we were going to lose him then, but he was a fighter. I wasn't prepared…I wasn't prepared to lose him, especially not after he fought so hard those first few months."

"I'm sorry, I get that your hurting and need me to forgive you, but I just can't. Maybe someday; it still hurts too much." She says wiping the last of her tears, staring into the soul of the man she once loved. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on Peyton." She said it so quietly Nathan had to struggle to hear, and before it was processed in his mind, Haley had quietly entered Chris's apartment.

Feeling all the emotions running through his body, the only thing he could do was slide down the wall and place his head in his hands.

* * *

Her curls were tangled and her eyes were still dark, she looked and felt like hell. She was in no mood for Chris, Rachel, and Haley to quiz her on what happened. So as soon as they all three entered the room, she was aware she had to make a quick exit. Haley looked worried, Chris looked scared, and Rachel looked hopeful seeing that Peyton was awake and aware of their presence. She had been in a similar position and knew that these were positive signs even if the hazel-eyed woman's emotions showed otherwise. "Look guys, I am not really ready to talk about this. I am just going to go for a walk. I'll have my cell with me so don't worry." She slowly rose to her feet and began for the door, when Rachel stopped her. "We'll be here when you are ready." She said as she gave her a knowing look before letting her walk out the door.

Peyton stepped into the hallway surprised at the sight before her. She had started her day with man who was now sitting on the ground wrapped up in emotions. She wasn't prepared to talk to him, and she knew she was in no state to make someone else feel better. She attempted to walk by without stopping, but halfway down the golden corridor she stopped mid-step. She turned around once more and looked at the dark haired man, and it made her realize she couldn't just leave him to deal with whatever it was on his own. It appeared that they both needed someone tonight. She slowly began retracing her steps until she reached the wreck before her.

He felt a hand on his shoulder but didn't need to look up to know who it was, he knew her smell. Her hand was light on his shoulder, and he knew she had been through so much as well. That is why he wasn't surprised when she took his hand in hers, and helped him to his feet. She found the keys that were hanging out of his pocket and unlocked the door before leading him in to the nearest couch and wrapping her arms around him as much for his sake as hers.


	10. Untitled

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill, The Butterfly Effect or Honda, or anything else.

* * *

Peyton sat with her arms around Nathan for nearly an hour, and Nathan held tightly to the woman who surrounded him until he felt her grip loosen. He slowly released their grasp. He could see the tears that rolled from her eyes, just as she could see the drops falling from his. They were both broken, but they weren't alone; they had each other.

Peyton wanted to be there for the man in front of her, but she wasn't sure how to help anyone. She could at least try, she thought. She started to open her mouth, when she felt a thick finger press against her lips. "Don't…" He stood leaving her all alone on the cold leather couch. "Let's just try to forget for a little while" He spit the words out quickly, and nervously. He didn't want to talk anymore than she did, and she could tell.

She watched as his tall figure disappeared behind the wooden door to his bedroom. She sat uncomfortably for a few moments, before finally speaking. "Nate?"

He could hear the pain in her voice as she called for him. He didn't mean to leave the room for so long, but he was searching frantically for an extra pillow and a blanket. He finally caught sight of the blue throw creeping out from under his bed, and went back into the living room.

He put in The Butterfly Effect and sat on one side of the couch, propped his feet up on the coffee table, and held his arms open for the woman before him. She was hesitant to just curl up and watch a movie after everything that had happened today, but Nate hadn't forced words or explanations. She laid her head on his chest and rested her feet on the other end of couch, and they watched the movie.

She secretly hated this movie but didn't want to say anything to disturb the peace they had found with each other. The movie succeeded in making her sad every single time. Evan loved Kaleigh so much, yet he would never end up with her at the end. For both of them to be happy, they had to live completely separate lives. It showed just how much one person or one decision could change the entire course of your life. What if she had just said yes in that hotel room years ago, what if Lucas had never joined the Ravens, or what if she never moved to LA? All of these questions were spinning in her head, making her doubt if she chose a good path for herself. Would she have been happier if she stayed in Tree Hill?

The emotions running through her head had an effect on her face, which didn't go unnoticed by Nathan. He could see the tears follow their previous trails through her mascara. He didn't know what to do for her. He gently placed his thumb on her cheek to wipe her tears, and sent her a small smile, a genuine smile, one that not many people caught a glimpse of. She laid her head back down on his chest, thankful that he still had a gentle side, much unlike the previous night's escalation of events. He rubbed her back until he could feel her breath slow, and then he fell asleep too.

* * *

Rachel was sitting on the sofa in the corner of Chris's apartment while Haley was sitting in the chair opposite. They weren't speaking; in fact, after telling Haley what happened Rachel and Haley hadn't said a word. It was simple, Haley didn't like Rachel for the way she acted in high school, and Rachel didn't like Haley because of Haley's 'I'm too good for this attitude'. Chris would have given the girls looks of his own, probably meaning 'a threesome would be so hot right now', but instead he was busy wearing out the hardwood floor in his kitchen.

The girls jumped when he slammed his hand on the counter and released a sigh. "She should be back by now… I am worried. I am going to see if I can't find her. You guys stay here incase she comes back. And call me if she does." He said before throwing on his leather jackets and slamming the door.

Chris didn't get much farther than the hallway when he got a big clue in Peyton's whereabouts. He could see the end of her scarf peaking through none other than Nathan Scott's door and her cell phone on the floor beside it. He knocked lightly on the door desperately wanting to physically verify her location, but no one came. He did really care, if he was honest with himself, he always cared. When she walked into the record shop the first time, he noticed the fire in her eyes. He was more than impressed with her knowledge of great musicians. He wasn't necessarily happy that she was in there with _him_, but at least she was safe.

He decided he needed to know so he slowly turned the metal knob and slid the door open. His heart dropped a little when he saw them on the couch asleep, but she looked somewhat peaceful in her slumber and for that he was grateful. He put her cell phone and scarf on the table beside the door and quietly exited the same way he entered.

"Did you find her?" Rachel screamed when he reentered the apartment.

He plopped down on the couch beside her. "Yeah, she's okay; she is asleep across the hall." He said it completely unaware that Haley or Rachel knew who lived there.

Haley eyes perked up. "Wait across the hall. With Nathan?"

"With Nathan" he stated sadly, while the brunette flashed with anger. How could she? She may not forgive Nathan, but that doesn't mean she wanted him and Peyton to form a bond. How could Peyton, she had to know what happened.

Rachel put her hand on Chris shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "I can tell you like her, I'm sorry"

"Oh well, right, she looked peaceful, and after tonight's events I am just grateful for that."

"Wait, are you guys saying she and Nathan are together?" They could now both see the anger forming in the short woman.

Rachel didn't understand. "You are going to get mad at Peyton, after everything that's happened tonight, because you think she is with a man that you walked out on? You have a lot of nerve."

"Listen, bitch, you don't know the whole story. I didn't like you in high school so don't think I like you now. As for Peyton, I thought she cared more about her friend's feelings than she obviously does." She scoffed. "Although she was friends with Brooke for a lot longer than with me, and look what she did with Lucas. I should have known."

"Okay, whatever Nathan did, you left him for, so he is not your property anymore. If he were smart, he should have accepted my offer in high school, and left your sorry ass then. As for Peyton, how can even talk about her like that. If I heard her correctly, she got you a record deal, and it wasn't a cheap price. So you should shut up, and either be here for your friend, or just leave."

"Chris, are you just going to let her kick me out of YOUR apartment."

"Yeah, because I have seen what drugs can do to people, and Peyton is going to need friends, not people to make life harder."

Haley didn't know what to think. Maybe she had let her emotions get to her. She wasn't really over Nathan, she just could not forgive him. Not yet, anyway. "Maybe I got a little to emotional; I am just going to go to the hotel for tonight. Tell Peyton I'll call her tomorrow, and that if she needs anything I'm here." She left, but not without boring holes into the door of the apartment where Nathan and Peyton were quietly sleeping.

* * *

The screen on the television had a floating logo, meaning that the DVD had stopped long ago. The sun was shining through the apartment as if there were no walls, and the two were still in the same position that they fell asleep in. Nathan began to stir when a glare from the floor caught his eye. He didn't want to move too much because he knew Peyton was still asleep and he was acting as her pillow, so he just stared at her curls.

She had the strange feeling that someone was watching, it was feeling that had made her paranoid after Ian, aka Psycho Derek, began stalking her in high school. She opened one eye carefully, and was glad to see it was just Nathan. "Are you okay this morning?" She asked remembering the way his face appeared the night before.

"Better, especially since I wasn't alone. Thanks for being here."

"Truth is I needed it as much you did." She said referring to the comfort they found in each other's constant touch. "I'm here if you want to talk about it." She said ensuring that her hazel eyes met his amazing blues.

"It was five years yesterday since Jamie's death. It still hurts, and it is all my fault." He placed his head in his hands, thinking about the past. "I still remember everything so clearly. The day we brought him home from the hospital was the best day of my life. He was healthy."

_Nathan held his son as he entered the house. His beautiful little boy had his eyes, and his mother's ears. He never thought the day would come when he could finally bring him home, but today three month old James Lucas Scott was released from the hospital. _

"_Oh Nathan, I can't believe he is finally coming home." Both parents doted on their amazingly strong little child. Three months prior he had been delivered early. Haley was hit by a car driven by Dante. Dante had deliberately run down the two when Nathan refused to shave the points negotiated before a loan. Nathan only wanted the money to ensure that his family, Haley and the baby, could stay afloat. _

"I remember Lucas telling me how he thought he was going to be smart like Haley because he was curious of everything, and how he could already hold a ball. Oh Nate, I am so sorry." She hadn't thought about the child in a while. She had been there the day he was born, but left for LA shortly after. Lucas had kept her updated on the infants progressing health, but no one ever talked about what happened the day he passed.

"I didn't mean for any of it to happen."

_Nathan was so excited to put Jamie in the car seat. He was taking him to the river court for the first time since he was born. Jamie's health improved greatly after coming home, he was growing like a weed and seemed to always be happy. Nathan was positive that Jamie was his biggest accomplishment. He carried the car seat outside to the little Honda they were driving, and he proceeded to buckle him in. Little did he know he missed the loop for the buckle to go through and the child was left at the mercy of the car._

_The accident happened so quickly. The light was red, and Nathan didn't notice. He was looking in the rear view mirror to see what Jamie was laughing at. He heard the truck honking, but it was too late. The next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital bed and being told Jamie didn't survive. Not only was the impact too much, but he wasn't buckled properly.  
_

"Oh Nathan" She had her arms tightly surrounding him at this point, and his head was pressed against her shoulder.

"I didn't even see the light. Jamie was laughing at something, and I couldn't figure out what it was, then the truck. That's the last time I saw my son. Oh God Peyton, how could I have been so stupid. If I would have just…kept my eyes on the road."

"Shh…just let it out." She coaxed him to release all of the pain he had kept bottled inside. She heard the raw emotion break through his deep voice, and the tears were no secret. He held to her as if she was the only thing keeping him alive. He had not broken down since the funeral and it was well overdue. Peyton simply let him, allowing him to confirm in her mind once again, that red lights were the epitome of evil.


	11. Empty Inside

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. Sorry I am horrible at updating on any kind of a schedule. I am behind on reading too. I wrote this one in a couple of different sittings so it may be kind of choppy. Thank you everyone who has reviewed, alerted, etc. YOU ARE GREAT!

PS: the double line represents a week jump in time.

* * *

"Peyton, you don't have to go you know?" He said while putting a new shirt on. She could see every muscle in his chest as he did so. "Peyton?" She had drifted off thinking about how much he had changed since she saw him last in Tree Hill.

"Yeah, sorry. I…" she stole one more glance at his chest. "got distracted. I do really need to leave. They are probably worried about me by now, I need to go and at least talk to them."

"You never did tell me why you were so upset last night. You know I am here for you. Especially after everything you did for me." He stopped what he was doing to look her straight in the eye, letting her know how much he meant the words that he was saying. She couldn't help but think how unlike Lucas he was. He didn't normally say things he didn't mean. She knew he said 'sorry' a lot when they were dating in high school, and he didn't always mean it, but he had dropped that habit after they quit dating.

"It doesn't matter. I have to go, okay? I'll see you around." She quickly got up and pressed her lips to his cheek.

He could help but think about how soft her lips were, and his mind began to wonder. "Okay." Somehow the woman before him had managed to get him from hot and bothered to a sobbing mess in just two short days, all while having her own personal problems. She was there for him like no one else could be. Skillz had tried, but Peyton was the one who knew how to get in his mind and help him heal. He only wished he could find a way to do the same for her. He was broke from his thoughts when he saw her beautiful eyes staring at him and her hand patting his cheek in the same spot previously graced by her lips.

"Don't forget to shave." She said it with a smirk, and his heart, as well as his face, smiled. Everything would be okay, even though the curly blonde had slipped out the door, and he was left realizing he hadn't gotten any of her contact information, nor her any of his.

When she stepped outside the door of his apartment, she was overwhelmed with emotions. She kept her hand on the door for a moment having a battle with herself. Part of her wanted to go running back in and tell Nathan all of her fears about the world. The other half didn't want to make his life outlook any grimmer than it probably already was. She had no idea how the child had died those years ago, but to find out Nathan ran a red light only made her thoughts drift back to her mother. The pain she felt as a little girl knowing her mother was never coming home again never really went away. How could a little girl lose her mother at the age when she needed her the most, and how could a family lose the most important thing to it, a beautiful innocent child. These are the reasons that Peyton couldn't believe that the world was beautiful. It was all about finding pleasure in the moment, because if you left it up to life it would stab you in the back. She finally decided it wasn't worth it to burden Nathan, and made her way to Chris's apartment.

When she walked in, she was surprised to see Rachel still there. She was asleep on the couch, while Chris had fallen asleep, quite awkwardly, in the adjacent chair. She shut the door quietly, and when she turned around she heard him speak.

"Finally, you are back. Are you okay?" He was genuinely concerned for her, and to be honest, she didn't know how to take it.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to make you guys worry about me. I've been across the hall."

"Using this to your advantage, Sawyer, to get Nathan in the sack." The red-head slowly began opening her eyes, wondering what kind of reaction her comment would get from the blonde. She was sad to see no smile grace her pale face, only more sadness. "Sorry, that was stupid; I was just trying to be funny."

"No, it's okay. Nate just needed someone last night. He is going through a lot." She looked at the floor trying to avoid tears.

"And you aren't?!" Chris said, letting his jealousy bite through his raspy voice.

"Chris, don't okay. I am fine, besides it made me feel useful, and quite frankly I've been feeling like life is pointless."

He wanted to take back his comment after seeing the way it hit her, but couldn't. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I am just worried about you after everything that happened."

"I understand. I'm sorry I made you guys worry last night. I am not used to having people around who care about if I make it home." She said thankful for the friendships that were forming with the two before her. "Listen, I have to go to work and try to keep my job. After last night, it won't be easy."

* * *

"Sawyer, where have you been, I have been calling for my coffee all morning." He held up his empty red mug. "What are you still doing standing there? Coffee!" She went to the hall way and grabbed the pot, taking it into his office.

"Here you are sir." She said as she finished pouring the black liquid.

"The band told me about last night. You left them; they wanted you to hang out with them some more. We gave you a chance with a big band because we thought you could handle it, but I see that was a mistake so get used to that coffee pot. By the way, Jeff wants to see you, he's the one with the power to fire you; I would kiss his ass if I were you. Oh yeah, he said that Haley girl you got him interested in refused to sign with the company."

Haley didn't sign. After everything Peyton did in order to get her an offer with the label, she wouldn't sign. I guess that wasn't Haley's fault, she didn't know about any of it. But still, how could she not. She walked down the hall to see Jeff, knowing all too well what he would expect in order for her to keep her job.

* * *

Nathan wiped his wrist across his forehead in an attempt to remove sweat. Practice had been extremely strenuous the entire week as the Lakers prepared to meet the Mavericks in their game in two weeks. They had a good run in the '07 season and coach was worried. "Scott!"

"Yeah Coach." He said it hoping to show some enthusiasm for the sport, but if he were truly honest with himself he didn't have any. He hadn't since the night a week ago when he broke down in his apartment with Peyton. He had to strain just to keep focus in practice, and he thought for sure that the coach was going to call him out on it.

"In my office, we need to talk." He said it with absolutely no emotions, and Nathan was almost certain he had screwed things up. He wasn't ready to lose his career. Even though he didn't have any enthusiasm for it right now didn't mean that he didn't still love the sport.

He quickly followed his coach down the hall into his nice office. You could tell that the coaching job paid off well. The walls were adorned with plaques from when the coach was a player on the same team. He had the latest technologies. The picture on his desk revealed a lovely family, and his car wasn't too shabby either. "How are you feeling about your game, Scott?"

"Good, coach. I think my jump shot is getting strong, and my accuracy is improving." Even if he didn't feel on top of his game, there was no reason to let anyone else know that. Sometimes a good bluff will get you where you want to be.

"Jenson's knee is not going to be better in time for the Mavericks. We were planning to put in Johnson, but things have changed and we are trading him. How do you feel about starting?" Nathan could feel his heart beating in his chest. He knew it would happen one day. But this was only the third game of the year, and he was a rookie.

"Great, I'm definitely ready. This is what I've been working towards since childhood."

"All right. Practice starts an hour earlier for my starters and an hour later. And we put in three hours on Sunday. We cannot lose this game. Remember that."

"Thanks, coach. I won't let you down!" He said practically jogging out of the office.

* * *

"Peyton, it has been a week, are you ever going to talk about it?! It's not good to hold it in." the redhead said to the brooding blonde staring out the window. At nights when she returned home from work, the woman who used to spend her time painting had taken to staring blankly out the window. Rachel tried to get her talk, but had only succeeded a few times. "Peyton…?"

She looked at the woman she now called roommate and friend. In one of their conversations, they decided that Rachel should just stay. She was trying to get back on her feet and Peyton barely made her part as it was. "Look, I know you are worried, but I'm fine really." She plastered the fake smile she had perfected over the years.

"Okay since you aren't going to talk about that, why don't you tell me why you aren't taking any of Nathan's calls? He has only called three times every night trying to get a hold of you. And on top of that you have been here, sitting in that spot. What is going on?"

"I didn't give him my number for a reason. I didn't want him to call me."

"Maybe not, but Skillz is his best friend, and you did give HIM your number. Besides, you said Nathan needed you that night so why aren't you going to talk to him again."

"He was going through some stuff, and I don't want to bring any more problems into his life than he is already experiencing." She said it regretfully; she wanted to be more of a help to him, but she didn't want to make him any more depressed than he already was. Besides with the way work was going, she wasn't going to be cheering anybody up. It didn't help that the man who lived on the other side of LA's downtown district reminded her enormously of a man she had imagined forever with.

"You know what, Skillz told me that the day you left his apartment, after you spent the night, he saw Nathan the happiest he has been since high school. So by ignoring him, you are just putting him back in his depressed mood."

"It is better this way." That was all the blonde could say. She didn't really feel like talking. She didn't really feel anything at all. Not that she wanted too.

"Fine, suit yourself. But he is starting in the Maverick's game, and he would really like it if you showed up. By the way, Haley is coming by at six; she stopped by while you were at work. She said she has some things she has to talk about. I'm out." The redhead grabbed her purse and slammed the door behind her. Being nice with Peyton wasn't getting her anywhere. She really just wanted her to be okay, but she didn't know how to make sure of that.

Peyton just leaned her head back and closed her eyes, hoping that Haley would come and go quickly so that she could just be alone again.


	12. Missing

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill, nor Evanescence (I title the chapter after their song)

* * *

"Peyton, are you here?" She asked banging on the door somewhat impatiently causing Peyton to jump from her seat by the window.

"Yeah, I'm coming." She called to the woman behind the door. Opening it, she was greeted by a woman with a sad expression, they had not spoken since the night it happened, she was one of the people she had been avoiding, but could no longer. "Haley, hey, I was expecting you." She motioned for the woman to come into the apartment.

Upon entrance, Haley examined the small room that housed both Rachel and Peyton. It was messy and small. The place had not been kept up well over the years, but because of its location probably cost more than it would anywhere else. Overall, it had an empty feel. Peyton had not placed but two pictures out and a sole album covered the wall. The pictures of course were of her mothers, and the album one she played the most. "So, how have you been?" she added breaking the silence that had taken over since her entrance.

"Good, I lived, right?" Peyton replied in her sarcastic, yet empty tone. The words were meant as a joke, but sounded more like a regret. Haley couldn't help but wonder if Peyton had hoped to have died that night. She was afraid of the place her former friend was in emotionally. She feared it would not get better.

"Yeah, right. Sorry I didn't stick around that night for you to come back. I wanted to, it just didn't work out that way." She wanted her to know that she did want to help her, and hadn't just left forgetting what she had been through. The conversation between the two wasn't flowing as that of two long lost friends, but more like two women who had no idea what the other was like. It was as if they had just met, and neither wanted to explore further into friendship.

"It's okay. I know you must have been going through a lot that day too. Everything with Jamie and all. I should have stuck around to help you."

"I guess we both don't know how to be friends anymore, I'm sorry it took me so long to get out here to see you."

"Look, Haley, I didn't exactly rush home to visit anyone either. Since, you are here though, can I ask you something?" She wanted to know about the record deal.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I had gotten the record company to agree to sign you, but when I went in today, they told me you refused. Why?" She asked with general concern as to why the woman didn't want to be a rockstar again.

She hesitated slightly. She wasn't sure if she was should bring up her reasons, but knew that Peyton deserved an answer. "I talked to Chris. He told me some things."

Peyton was clueless as to what Chris would have said to make Haley give up a record deal. "What did he tell you?" She quirked her eyebrow, her curiosity fully aroused.

She noticed Haley's face when she began to talk, and she knew that the secret she let slip to Chris was told to her. "He told me what you did to get me the record deal, Peyton. I can't take it like that. You really shouldn't have, to be honest I never thought you would do that kind of thing."

Peyton put her hands on her face trying to cover the embarrassment and humiliation she was feeling. Anger soon filled the place of the previous emotions. "He had no right to tell you that. I did it so that you could make music, and go out there and help people with your music."

"How could you do it though. Sleep with someone just for me a record deal." Haley knew how her words came off, but she couldn't understand meaningless sex, or anyone who could.

"Please don't judge me, Haley. All the things I have done, good or bad, have been an attempt to make my life worth something in the world. So please don't judge me."

Haley backed off slightly and sat at the small kitchen table. She thought for several minutes before offering "I'll sign if you really want me too, but I don't believe in the way you got me the deal."

"No, if you don't feel like you can sleep at night knowing how I got it, don't. It will be okay."

"There is something else I should tell you why I am here." She wanted to take it back, knowing that bringing up Lucas might not end the best.

"I don't know how to tell you this so I am just going to say it quick. LucasIsGettingMarried." She pushed the last sentence out in one breath while closing her eyes to avoid the blonde's response. The blonde only stared at her. "Peyton, are you going to say something? You can scream at me if it will make you feel better."

She calmly and coldly replied "Why would I be upset, Lucas is nothing to me anymore. He became nothing to me when he slept with Brooke twenty-four hours after I said 'someday' to his marriage proposal." She got up and began tidying the bed nervously, fearing she would break in front of Haley. She wondered how she could hate someone with so much of her being, yet be so devastated that you aren't with them.

"Wait, he slept with Brooke after he proposed?"

"What, did good old Lucas fail to mention that? Figures, he likes to leave out things sometimes."

"Wow. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

"Look, Haley, thanks for telling me this, and I'm sorry I didn't get you the record deal in a manner which you are comfortable with. Maybe we can get together again sometime, but I think right now, I just want to be alone. I am kind of tired." Neither spoke as the brunette walked out simply waving goodbye and offering a small smile. Following her exit, Peyton locked the door and fell to her bed, releasing years of emotions over Lucas, a man who didn't deserve to have any holds on her heart.

* * *

Nathan came back to his apartment and went back to sleep after his Sunday practice. He was so happy to be starting, but the Sunday practice was at 5AM and if he were being honest, he really liked to sleep. He had just dozed off when the loud banging at his door made him jump, and in the process he feel off his couch.

"Damn" he said as he rubbed his elbow. "I'm coming.!" He growled letting the visitor know that Sunday morning was not the best time to bother him. He opened the door to find the feisty redhead staring at her cell-phone. "Rachel?! What are you doing here at …" he paused to glance back at the clock on the wall "9:30 in the morning?"

"I had to talk to you."

"Can we do this later; I'm really tired" He stated while rubbing his eyes.

She stopped for a moment, but knew her next statement would open the door. "It's about Peyton."

"Come in. Let me just get some water or something." He pointed to the couch motioning for her to sit while he woke up.

"Is she okay?" he said as he emerged back into the living room.

"Physically. But mentally she is a mess, and she is stubborn and lost, and I don't know how to help her. Chris and I have tried, and we have gotten nowhere."

He thought about the woman, remembering how broken she had seemed herself the week prior. He didn't know how to help her either. She wasn't taking his calls. "Rachel, I don't know what you think I can do, but she isn't talking to me. I kept hoping she would, but I see it is not going to happen." He was frustrated. He had called her house more times than he could count in the past week, and nothing came of it.

* * *

He glided through the hallway of the rundown building, feeling sad that Peyton was sad. She didn't feel like her life had purpose, and on top of that, she had to live in the dilapidated building hardly giving her the life she deserved. He approached the room that Rachel had indicated was theirs and stopped to knock lightly. He heard no reply but could easily hear the blonde sobbing through the door. He knew her door would be unlocked, it was as if her subconscious was saying she wanted to believe in the good of people and life. If only her subconscious would communicate with her actual thoughts. She didn't hear the door, and he didn't say a word. He didn't know what to say, her cries were loud and her spirit was broken, so he walked closer to her bed and sat himself behind her. Putting a leg on either side of her folded body, he wrapped his arms to engulf her figure and held her. She didn't jump, or look back, or protest. It was as if she knew he would be coming for her, and she needed him to be there. She needed anyone to be there.

They sat like that for what seemed like a century to Nathan; he hated seeing her sad, but if he were honest, he had never truly seen her happy, only content and that was rare. When her cries died down, he rested his chin on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay. I'll be here for you." He didn't know what was going wrong in her life, but he knew it was enough for her to become a shell of who she was. It was enough to make her a sobbing mess on her bed, and it was enough for her to lose faith in people.

"Thanks" she turned into his arms and looked at his eyes. They were kind and fully focused on her. She believed him when he said he would be there, and she believed it when he said it would be okay. Immediately she felt bad for avoiding him all week, here he was pledging to help her get through her problems, but he breaks down and she avoids him for a week. She looked down in shame for the friend she had become, but he stopped her and brought her face back to his level. This time the physical attraction between the two caught up with her first, and she initiated the kiss. She wasn't necessarily certain if it was Nathan, or the fact that he and Lucas shared similar eyes. He felt himself falling into the kiss, but realized the mess she had been moments before. "Peyton, stop, you're not thinking straight, I don't think we should be doing this."

She touched his face, and he saw the deadness in her eyes. He wanted to help her overcome the bad in her life. "Nate, please, I just want to feel. FEEL something, anything." He looked at her confused, this wasn't how he remembered Peyton, but he knew what it was like to feel lost and empty. He contemplated the request before she issued "Please" once more, her eyes connecting with his, before their lips connected as well. They both knew that this wasn't the best thing to do, but they both wanted to feel. They still had a long road to go until they would be healed; neither knew that they would be healing each other in ways they didn't know.


	13. Swept Under the Rug

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill.

* * *

Their movements had not been gentle or passionate, but hungry. Both of them were searching for something that couldn't be found in a sexual act, even if performed with the right the person. They needed to heal in other ways, but their actions bought them time, time to put off their emotions, time to avoid the issues, and time in which to forget their problems. When they swayed as one in her small bed, they only had time to think about pleasing themselves and each other. They were not focused on Jamie's absence, Lucas' impending marriage, or the wrong paths they taken to where they were. It was that release from the world that they both so desperately sought and found that night.

Their rush of physical sensations brought them both to high they didn't want to ruin with words and emotions, so they simply laid there until sleep overtook their bodies. When morning came they awoke to the skin on skin contact, and both felt somewhat relieved to know they weren't spending another morning waking up alone. It was a small sentiment, but they had both started so many of their days for the last several years alone.

Peyton's head rested on Nathan's bare chest as the light threatened her eyes; her fingers nonchalantly caressed his nipple ring, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Nathan. He had been awake for at least an hour observing the habitat in which the blonde called home. It was completely opposite of his apartment, but he shifted his attention to her. "How much does this feel like déjà vu?"

She was startled by his words, not expecting him to be awake. "Huh?" she exclaimed as she stopped her previous movements, and attempted to move her head back down to a pillow. Nathan simply responded to her movements by ensuring his arm was around her shoulders so she would stay where she was. He liked the way her hair felt against his bare skin.

"Sorry, just you and my nipple ring, it reminded of the past."

"Yeah, it does." She closed her eyes and almost felt as though she were fifteen again. He still smelled the same and his arm fit around her in the same manner, granted they didn't lie like this much in those days. He usually would turn after getting what he wanted and they would fall asleep in the bed not touching. She didn't know how to define what they did last night, but felt something should be said. "So about last night? I was a mess, I'm sorry I pushed myself on you like that."

He opened his eyes to look at her, but she was looking towards the window. The lights reflecting her golden hair made him want her all over again. "I know it wasn't exactly my plan to come over here and do this, and I know you were a mess, but I don't feel like you pushed yourself on me, if anything, I took advantage, you were vulnerable, I should have been stronger, but you are too damn sexy." He tried to lighten the mood.

"I always did get you hot, didn't I? I guess if you don't regret it, I guess I can say this. It felt good being with you again, last night…." She looked up at him so their eyes met "...and last weekend." He smirked at her comment. The two nights were completely different. The first night had been full of passion, but the next morning was filled with regret. This night had been as if satisfying a need and nothing more, but the next morning was sailing more smoothly for the two.

"I still got it." He said as he placed his hands behind his head in a satisfied manner, a smirk plastered on his face.

His playful actions sparked a playfulness in her that she hadn't used in a while. She had learned how to be sexy over the years, if anything to make the artists she entertained want to hang out with her again. It was this that gave her the confidence to tease Nathan. She placed her hands on both of his wrists pinning them solidly to the bed, then proceed to hover over his body whisper words down his skin. The soft breath succeeded in making him exciting all over again. When her lips got closer to his hip, the bulge in the sheet gave away his excitement. He wasn't expecting any of these actions from Peyton, but didn't feel he was in a position to decline any amount of pleasure she wanted to give. Feeling her breath linger, he was disappointed when he felt the sheet slide from his body and Peyton's footsteps tread across the floor. She laughed at his expression as he realized she had left him. "You are evil!" He said as he threw a pillow at her, neither of them hearing the door open over her laughter. He looked at the blonde before him, she was laughing, sexy, and seemed happy, even if only momentarily. He smiled at the thought "It is good to see you smile." She was able to blush before they both heard the redhead.

Rachel had no idea what she was going to find when she walked into the apartment that she shared with Peyton, but she wouldn't have imagined a smiling Peyton and a sexually excited Nathan. "Oh my God, I'm sorry. I'm just going to go." She said after realizing Nathan was on the bed naked. She quickly turned and closed the door behind her.

He quickly reached for the nearby blanket, but Rachel had already exited. Peyton was still laughing at this point, but could muster out an "I'm so sorry; I didn't realize she would be coming home."

"Whatever." He said holding a straight face as he walked past her into the bathroom, in desperate need of a cold shower. She was left in the room alone. She put on her robe, and walked to the door to find Rachel standing outside.

"I am so sorry you had to see that." She apologized as she opened the door.

"I'm not." She said as she pushed her way back into the apartment. "Don't worry; I am not going to make a move on him." Peyton didn't want to show her relief, but she was. Whatever it was she had started with Nathan last night was helping her forget about life, and she wasn't ready to give that up. "So are you two together now, or what?"

"I don't really know what we are."

"Well, like Nathan said it is good to see you smiling again, I have been getting worried about you. I assume you talked to him about your problems, and he made it all better judging by the state I walked in on you two." Rachel said smiling at the implication of Nathan and Peyton together.

"We didn't exactly talk, but he made me feel better." Rachel held back the worry that flashed in her eyes at the mention of no talk. She knew that not talking about the issues was avoiding them, and avoiding them would only lead to a bigger breakdown, she made a mental note to have another talk with Nathan.

"Well, you should probably talk, but I am glad you _feel _better."

Peyton, unaware of her friends concern, simply responded. "Thanks."

* * *

"Peyton, what are you doing here?" He asked as she walked into his apartment. He hadn't seen her in nearly week, and didn't know she was planning to come over. He had been living on takeout and beer, hadn't bothered to clean, and was looking a mess, he still couldn't help but be happy she had come to see him.

"I was at the label today, and they were preparing your contract. It made me think of you, I felt like I should come see you. I also needed to come and thank you again. For finding me, you know? I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't." She had fumbled over the words, realizing that things between her and Chris hadn't reached a comfortable level yet, but was willing to try for a friendship with him. She hugged him as she finished.

"It was nothing, I am just glad you are okay."

"So, are you ready to get back into the studio to record again?" It was this question that made him hesitate; he and Haley had been talking the last week. The more they spoke, the more he became uneasy at the business practices of the label's. Sex for a record deal would have seemed fine to Chris if it had involved him and someone else, but this involved an executive at the label and Peyton. She was special, and he hated that they had defiled her this way. Sure she had been a willing participant, but she shouldn't have been put in the position in the first place.

His hesitation didn't go unnoticed. "What is it; don't tell me you aren't going to sign either?"

"It's just, I have been thinking about it? I don't know if I can sign with them?"

"But you know I didn't get you your deal, they just loved you that much." He cut her off as she began defending the label's actions.

"Just tell me that after last weekend, you didn't have to perform any favors to keeps your job and I'll sign with them." He paused allowing her time to answer the question. Moments of passed in silence before he spoke again. "You can't, can you? Well, I can't sign with them."

"Chris…" She reached her hand out to him, but he backed away.

"I don't know if I can keep watching them abuse their power and use you like they are." He sat on the couch with his head resting on his hands. He looked at her and noticed the tears forming in her eyes. "Have you thought about opening your own label? You could get me and Haley easily. And what about Fallout Boy, I thought you knew them, or that guy Jake. Then you wouldn't have to put yourself through this, just so you can, what get their coffee?"

"I appreciate your concern, but I don't really want to talk about this." She closed the door quietly as she left his apartment, leaving him on the couch worried about the woman and her in the hallway, scared that someone knew her secrets. She would never admit that what she was doing hurt her, but it did. He only hoped that she heard his words, and would consider his solution.

Nathan was coming home from practice when he saw her in hallway. He noticed her watery eyes and the sadness in her walk, and he rushed to her. "Peyton, what's wrong?" She shook her head hoping that she contains her emotions. She was going to walk away when he grabbed her hand, while unlocking his door, he lead her inside.

The trend had started again, but this time it wasn't about just sex, it was about finding comfort in being with someone else. They could continue to dance around emotions if they continued to fill their time together with sex. They could be temporarily happy in each other's arms, and they could ignore the pain that still resided in both of their hearts.


	14. Breakaway

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. I don't know if I really like this chapter, but without it, I would be going nowhere. I hope that makes sense. Thanks to everyone who is reviewing. It reached 100 reviews on the last chapter. It made me soooooo happy. I appreciate each and every one of them. THANK YOU. For those of you on alert, sorry I posted it twice, I left out a detail I thought was kind of important.

* * *

"Oh God, somebody turn off the lights." Her curls were the only thing seen from beneath the blankets; she was never one to wake up early on purpose.

"Stop your whining, and get your ass out of bed, Sawyer." He said stealing the pillows she had buried her head under.

"Hey, no fair." She screamed as his fingers tickled her sides, and her body began to squirm. "Okay, okay, I'm awake. Just stop." She pleaded until he finally let her go, and she sat up in the bed using a sheet to cover her body.

"I have to go to practice, and I am pretty sure you work on Tuesdays. I left extra towels in the bathroom." He sat on the end of the bed waiting for her to get up. He remembered enough about her to know she hated mornings, and if given the chance, she would go back to sleep.

She got up pulling the sheet with her, and gathered her clothes. She then found her way to his side on the end of the bed. "When do you have leave for practice?"

"Within the next ten minutes, have you thought about coming to the game this weekend?"

"I'll be there." still squinting in an attempt to keep the bright lights out.

"You know if you sit here all day, you will never make it to work."

She rose from her spot on the large bed, quickly placing a small kiss on his cheek as she did. "You suck, I hate mornings. Have a good day at practice." She walked into his bathroom slamming the door behind her. "I'll lock the door when I leave."

* * *

Tuesday and Wednesday had passed quickly. She had left Nathan's apartment for work that morning. Work on Tuesday had lasted all day. They were preparing for the label's Artists for a Cause party where all of the big names with the company and all of the executives came and donated money to several charitable organizations. It was the label's biggest event of the year which meant lots of late nights ensuring that all the details were perfect. It was now Thursday and Peyton had been sent to meet with Chris and Haley, in hopes of getting them to sign the contracts they were offered. This was their last chance until the offer was pulled.

Peyton had asked them both to meet her at Chris' place. She knocked on his door to find Chris had cleaned up considerably since the last day she had visited.

"Peyton, come on in, Haley is already here."

"Haley, how are you?" She hadn't spoke with Haley since the day she had come to tell her about Lucas' new relationship.

"Good, you?"

"Okay."

Sensing the awkwardness between the two women who had once been friends, Chris stepped in "so what did you want to talk to us about, P. Sawyer?"

Peyton was stopped upon hearing the nickname, once used for her abundantly. "What did you just call me?"

"P. Sawyer. Isn't that one of your nicknames, from Brooke right?"

"It was, I just haven't heard that since before she and Lucas… never mind. Sorry…" gaining her composure she finished remembering the task at hand "the record company sent me over here to offer you one last chance to sign with the label. They are willing to lower their cut of your sells, and offer you both more creative freedom. Here are the new contracts if you want to look at them." She place two hefty documents in front of them both and sat down allowing them time to read their new possible agreements.

"Look, Peyton, this is a really good deal, but I can't do it. I'm sorry." Haley handed her the stack of bound papers back.

"Me, either." Chris added.

"Guys, you know this is a great deal. If you don't take it I don't know if you will find another. Don't think about what the record company has to do with me, think about what this will allow you to do. This..." she pointed to the documents "is a really great opportunity."

"Peyton, I can't look past it. I'll always be thinking about what you had to do to get me this deal. I don't want to be associated with a company that works like that. Chris was telling me about his idea. Maybe you should start your own label. I would sign with you and so would Chris, it could work."

"Are you guys sure about not signing?" Both nodded their heads indicating they wouldn't change their minds. "I can't leave the label. If I left now, there's no guarantee that I could get my foot in the door anywhere else. I have managed to help like 20 bands that are out there with their music making a difference. My own label, I can't do that. Two people aren't enough. It takes a lot; I don't think I can do that." She was rambling as they both watched her pace through the small kitchen of Chris' loft.

"Curly, you got 20 bands signed, but what did that cost you? You can't tell me that this doesn't take its toll on you. We could help with a label. Just think about it." He pleaded with her in hopes she would understand their view, and maybe hear them.

"I'm sorry, I know you guys don't agree with what I am doing at the label, but I can't quit. If you guys are sure you aren't going to change your mind, then I'm just going to go." She gathered the papers the label had sent her with, and walked to the door. "I'm sorry guys, but thanks for caring."

"So what are we going to do now? We both gave up awesome record deals." Chris asked handing Haley a cup of coffee.

"I don't know. I just wish she would quit doing this to herself. There have to be other ways of getting music out there. And I really think her own label would work if she would just give it a chance."

"Me too."

"So how do we get her to agree with us?"

He stared at the door thinking about the neighbor across the hall. "I have already tried Rachel. I think we only have one option, but I don't know if it is the best thing or not."

"We've got to try… for her. What is it?" She was curious to find out what the one method of reaching the blonde was.

"Nathan." He said it so matter of factly, and he didn't flinch or explain. It scared her.

"Nathan? What do you mean?"

"We need to get Nathan on our side, but that means we will have to tell him about what she is doing, and there lies our problems. I don't know how he will take it."

"I don't understand." She wanted to believe that Nathan and Peyton were not friends, that they never spoke, but the more Chris explained, the clearer it became.

"I'm sorry Haley, but they are sleeping together." He watched as the tear fell down her face. She always knew their connection would lead them back to each other one day, she just hoped that she had held that kind of spot in his heart. And even though, she still hadn't forgiven him, she liked to believe that one day they would get back to each other.

"I'm sorry." He wrapped her in a hug. "I know you still love him." She did, but she would talk to him about Peyton, if that was what needed to be done.

* * *

"So tomorrow is Nathan's game. I told him I would come. You are going too right? For Skillz?" Peyton had spent more of the last week talking to Rachel, they spoke about Peyton and Nathan arrangements somewhat, but it was mostly about how close Rachel and Skillz had become.

"Of course. He would be so mad at me if I missed it."

"Oh and we know what that means, no Skillz for you. I still can't believe that you guys are together. I think you are good for him though."

Rachel sat beside Peyton on the bed. "Well, I didn't exactly expect to find you and Nathan together when I cam out here either. Chris still likes you, you know?"

"No he doesn't, we are just friends, which is something, I definitely never thought would happen. Do you remember him in Tree Hill? He has definitely grown up some."

"I remember his obsession with all of the cheerleaders. He tried too hard." "Here you want some?" She offered Peyton a spoonful of the ice cream.

"No thanks, my luck I'd get it all over my drawings."

"So what are you drawing, anyway?" She was glad that Peyton had taken up drawing again, but she was insanely curious to know what the blonde found intriguing enough to draw.

"An album cover for this new band. They signed their deal last week, and I just want to give them an idea before the label goes in and takes away some of their creativity."

"You should really think about starting your own label, like Chris said. You have the creativity, you could do it."

"Thanks for believing that, but I don't think so." She refocused back on her work, hoping to capture the way the band made her feel.

* * *

Peyton had finished the drawing she was working on, and when Rachel left the apartment, she decided that she would go find Nathan. For once, she didn't want to initiate anything based on pain, or sadness, or fear. She wanted to find happiness in his arms, even if only temporary.

She had found her way to Nathan's hallway, when she saw his door opening. She decided to wait for whoever it was to enter. She was somewhat curious to know if he still found girls the way he used to. They hadn't really laid out rules to what they were doing, but she wanted to know.

Haley exited the doorway first, followed by Nathan. "I'm sorry to tell you all of this. I just want to get through to her, and apparently you are our last resort." She slightly sneered at the last thought, but didn't feel now was the time to get into anything. She couldn't keep him from moving on when she couldn't forgive him.

"I'm glad you did." They stood there awkwardly for a few moments before Nathan reached out to her, pulling her into a hug. Peyton then watched as Haley entered the elevator and left, while Nathan went back inside his apartment. Moments later she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. One New Message. Opening it, it read 'We need to talk...' It was from Nathan. From her spot in the hallway, she was unable to hear the words spoken between the former spouses, but when she saw them hug, emotions swept over her, and she assumed the worst.

She could feel her temporary happiness falling from her grasp. This was the end. Nathan and Haley were going to get back together, and she was going to be back at square one. Only this time instead of thinking about the blonde Scott, it would be Nathan. Instead of facing her fears directly, she texted back "It's okay, I already know." And made her way down the hallway, one door farther than planned.

"Chris, can I stay here tonight." He was always glad to see her, but she never seemed happy, even when she was smiling, it was empty or momentary.

"Of course, curly." He wrapped her in his arms and ushered her inside.

"Do you want some coffee, or something?"

"Do you have anything stronger?" She replied as he pulled out a bottle of vodka.

"Sure thing"


	15. Waiting For My End

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill.  Sorry for the long wait.

* * *

It had already been over an hour and they had finished off a bottle of tequila and most of a bottle of vodka. Chris didn't ask her why she was there looking to drown her sorrow, he just tried to drown his with her. It was therapeutic in a way, to just sit there comfortably with another person, knowing neither of you were perfect and didn't need to pretend to be. The two seated themselves on opposite ends of the coffee table with their bottle between them and two shot glasses. They had taken up asking each other random questions.

"Something you are afraid of?" She asked.

"Easy, the day women quit loving the Keller." He smiled. "You?"

"The day women START loving the Keller." She laughed as playfully threw a pillow towards her. "Really? Cats. They are so mean. Out neighbor's cat used to claw at my legs every time I went outside."

He laughed at her. "CATS? That's so lame." She threw the pillow back in his directions but missed causing him to life more.

"So, tell me something that you have never told anyone else before." She said as he poured what seemed to be their millionth shot of the clear liquid.

"I'm lonely." He answered bluntly, not wanting to focus on the answer he gave. "You? Something no one knows?"

"There's a lump in my breast. Place you never been?" She too avoided the statement she made, hoping that neither would remember the next morning.

"Las Vegas. You?"

"You've never been to Vegas, you are such a loser."

"Oh what, like you've been?" He defended his travel experience.

"No, but I'm not a musician." She stuck her tongue out at the man who was as far gone as she was, to which he mimicked. "We need more" she pointed to the empty bottle. He quickly went to the kitchen to grab another.

He placed the bottle down on the table in front of them. "Oh yeah, forgot the limes" he said returning to the kitchen. He strides were less than straight and his speech already starting to slur.

Making his way back to their seats, he stumbled on the rug, nearly falling on Peyton, but instead he caught his weight on his arm to avoid causing her pain. Laughing, she asked "Are you okay?"

He failed to answer immediately and moving from his current position didn't occur to him either. He simply looked at her amazing eyes, entranced by the color they held for each of her emotions. When she was drunk, they appeared slightly darker than normal, but they held a glimmer that wasn't present under normal circumstances. "Chr..." She tried to break him from his thoughts, but before she could finish she found their lips were touching. Within a second of contact, they were abruptly stopped by a knock at the door.

Chris rose and walked in a zig zag until he finally reached the door, leaving Peyton confused at the actions that had just ensued.

"Haley!!" he screamed before grabbing her shoulders and ushered her to the couch. Between Chris' kiss and Haley presence, Peyton felt more sober already. She wanted Nathan to be happy, but she couldn't help being sad by the presence of Haley in his life. She had enjoyed the time they had spent together, even if most of it was plagued by their issues. Haley's presence would be threatening for their encounters.

"What's going on guys?" Peyton held up the bottle of liquid, while Chris held the glass up for Haley. "Have some" He added.

"Why not" Sure she was much of a drinker, but if Jamie's death had taught her anything, it was that a little bit of alcohol wouldn't kill you.

"So, Haley, what brings you here?"

"I didn't have anything to do, and I was actually hoping we could write some new material, but it kind of looks like that won't be happening." She replied in response.

"What, did Nathan forget to tell one of whores he didn't need them anymore?" Peyton quickly asked, not thinking before she spoke.

Haley wasn't prepared to be taking hits from Peyton; she wanted Peyton to be happy. However, she wasn't comfortable with Nathan and Peyton's current relationship, so she decided to hold nothing back. "As far as I know you're the only one."

"Ladies, why don't we take this in the other room, and instead of Nathan's name, let's put mine in, and I'll even let you both play out your fantasies."

Both women loudly screamed "Chris..." sending looks in his direction that had the potential to kill, and then returning to each other. "I'm sorry."

Peyton downed another glass of the liquid, as did Haley. "I just really liked having him around, and I guess if you two are back together, I'm going to lose that."

"Back together?" Haley asked confused as to where Peyton was getting her information.

"Yeah, I saw you leave his apartment when I came in, and it looked like you two were good." Peyton explained with a hope that maybe she had misinterpreted the scenes that had unfolded before her.

"I love Nathan, don't get me wrong, but I still can't forgive him. Doesn't mean I like watching you two get close, sorry for my comment too. It hurts because I always thought I never measured up to you in his eyes, but if he is helping you heal, I don't want to stop that."

Chris watched as both women let tears stream down their cheeks. "Okay, time for a Keller sandwich" He said before scooping his arms around both women pulling them together.

"God, it's getting hot in here, I think I am going to go for a walk." The blonde rose quickly, and began making her way to the door.

"Real subtle Sawyer, tell Nate we said 'hi' Chris didn't want to watch her run into Nathan's arms, but what could he do?

As soon as they watched the door shut, Haley asked "You guys got drunk because you thought Nathan and I were back together?"

"I didn't know that is why when we started. I didn't ask either because I wanted to give her as much space as she needed." He said dejectedly.

"Oh Chris, you are so smitten."

His cocky attitude returned long enough for him to respond. "Chris Keller does not get smitten."

"Okay, so you want to talk about it." She asked obviously not believing him.

"I kissed her, right before you came in, I don't know why I did it, and it was stupid."

"You're right, it was kind of stupid." She agreed.

"Thanks for the support, it's not like it matters though. You saw how fast she went running back to him. I doubt she'll even remember our lips ever touched."

"Maybe we should write some songs tonight, I'm pretty sure we could push out a song about jealousy between the two of us."

* * *

Peyton clumsily knocked on the door she had come to love, and in a matter of seconds she could hear the footsteps approaching. "Peyton, where have you been? I have been trying to get a hold of you all night?" He said before grasping her in his arms.

She reciprocated as they walked into the apartment. "Sorry, I didn't know you cared so much." She casually stated.

"Well, I do." He walked to the bedroom to get a blanket so they could sit on the couch comfortably. When he returned, however, he was kind of surprised to the see the woman before him removing her shirt. "Peyton, what are you doing?"

"I am really hot."

"You're right, you are, but it is really freezing in here." He laughed at her lightly.

"Well, you know…" she started seductively, "I could fix that."

As tempted as he was, there were other things he was hoping to get out in the open before anything more happened between them. "Actually, I was hoping we could just talk." He said sitting on the couch, patting the spot beside him for her. She allowed herself to fall into his shoulder and get comfortable. "What did you want to talk about?"

"You, work, life." He managed to get out. She began placing light kisses up and down his arm. "What about me, work, and life." She turned to place kisses on his collar sending a shiver down his spine, but his head was still in another place.

"Damn it, Peyton, I just want to talk." He said as he rose from his spot beside her.

"Why can't we talk later, and do this now." She smiled coyly while pointing between herself and him.

"Fine, tell me you're not sleeping with your boss, and we can do whatever you want." He said sitting back down beside her.

She put her hand on the arm beside his body while leaning in front of him. Looking him in the eye "Fine, I'm not sleeping with my boss." She stated blankly before taking his lips with her own.

He pushed her back lightly and rose again. "Tell me and mean it." He stared at her coldly for a minute before realizing that she couldn't, she just sat there tears forming and shame forming in face. "You know what; I can taste the vodka on your mouth. Let's just go to sleep and talk in the morning."

She grabbed the blanket he had brought and covered herself "Fine, good night." She said icily, mad that he had brought up something that was none of his business.

"You can sleep in the bed" He tried to make amends for the anger that he displayed only moments ago.

"I'd rather not." She said before shooing him away with her hand. He knew she was drunk, so decided not to push any thing and retired to his room.

He didn't go to sleep; he didn't even get in bed. He just sat there on the end staring out the window of his high-rise. The city was beautiful at night, but all he could think about is how Peyton's life had come to be the way it was. One person came to mind, and he knew he must have left her so broken.

Twenty minutes passed before he ventured back into the living area. He hoped she would be asleep by now, and he was pleased to find that she was. He knew the couch was uncomfortable, so he lifted the small woman and carried her to his bed. He tucked her in and then took a seat on his chair he had placed in the corner and watched her as she slowly breathed in and out.

Haley was throwing away the bottles as Chris lay on the couch flopping back and forth. She gave him a strange look. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, the room doesn't spin so fast if you move with it."

"You two drank a whole lot" she listened as the last bottle fell into the garbage bag, chiming on its way down.

"A little too much." He flopped over again, while she watched him laughing.

He tried giving her a look, but she just kept laughing. "Sorry, it's just; I've never seen anyone do that."

"Ha ha" he slowly sat up. "Hey I think that room is slowing down."

"So did you and Peyton have a jolly old time?"

He was smiling until she finished the question, and then his face became somber, as if he suddenly realized his dog had died or something.

"Oh God, Haley, I think she may have told me a big secret, and it's not good." He said looking in front of him blankly.

"What is it?" She asked, showing concern in her voice.

"I don't think I should tell. I think I just need to be there for her." He thought of what his appropriate action should be, and praying that things were not as bad as they could be.


	16. Colliding in Mind

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. I don't know if I like this chapter, but it has been a while since I have updated so I am posting.

* * *

It seemed as if someone were tearing down the building with a sledgehammer around her, each hit growing in force and destruction. She squinted her eyes against the sun shining through the large windows to find that the building was still in tact, and it was her head that was doing the pounding. A few more blinks later, she caught sight of the man with whom her life had collided much like a sledgehammer would to a wall. His blue eyes staring at her as if they were afraid to blink caught her in a stare she couldn't imagine breaking. She didn't remember coming to his apartment last night; in fact, she didn't remember much of anything. She pushed the palm of her hand into her forehead and quenched her eyelids closed. Nathan quickly rose and sat down beside her. "Are you okay?" his voice full of concern.

"Yeah, thanks, I think I just had a little too much to drink last night." She said releasing the pressure slowly, turning her eyes towards him as she did. She was so glad to have reconnected with him, he was such a caring man, and it felt nice to have someone worry about her. Sure she had Chris and Rachel, but Nathan was her first love, her first everything.

"Let me get you some aspirin, then maybe we could talk about what I wanted to last night." He walked to the dresser opening the top drawer and pouring two small white pills into his hand for her.

"I don't even remember coming here last night." She thought about it for a moment, trying to recall her last action before stepping over the edge to drunk. "Oh god, I didn't." she screamed making Nathan nearly drop the glass of water he held for her.

"What is it? Calm down, it can't be that bad." He tried to comfort the woman who was now pacing back and forth beside his bed.

"I called him. What the hell was I thinking?" She said obviously lost in her own world, not hearing Nathan as he insisted on knowing who.

He finally walked to her and steadied her shoulders, causing her to look at him. "Who?"

She paused a moment before, whispering "Lucas." She slowly walked to him and he opened his arms allowing her face to bury in his chest while he soothingly rubbed her back.

"Look, I don't know what happened between you two, but I can tell he obviously hurt you. So if you need to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks," she said pulling away from slowly. "but I would rather not right now."

"How about we talk about something else then?"

"Sure, what is it, Nate?" she lowered herself back to sit on the bed, and he followed her motion.

"I don't really know how to bring this up, so I'm sorry." He paused while her face became more concerned. "Are you sleeping with your boss at the record company?"

She backed off the bed slowly, her face as if he had made physical blow to her body even though it had only been emotional. "Where did you hear that?"

"You have really great friends, they care about you." He stayed in his spot looking into her eyes hoping to make it through to her.

"Well, I am glad they care, but it is really none of their business, and no offense Nate, but I don't want to discuss this with you."

"Peyton, we love you, we just want you to be okay. Have you thought about quitting, or hell, even reporting their abuse of power?"

She sat back down shamefully ready to support her job and the people she worked for. "This is how the music industry works, you have to scratch someone's back to get heard. If I quit, I may not have another opportunity, and if I report anyone, I'll just end up losing my job. Now, can we talk about something else?"

"You could start your own label." He said giving her a folded paper with a functional recording studio for sale. "There are buildings out there already, you wouldn't have to build anything on your own."

"Even I wanted to, how would I afford this?"

"I don't know, but I could help. Right now I have enough saved I could buy this building no problem, and then there'd be some for whatever else you need."

"You don't even know if I'd be good at this, and you are willing to invest your money in me."

"I know you did a lot of good things with Tric, and you put out the cancer benefit album, and that was when we were in high school. Imagine what you are capable of now. I believe in you, if only you would too."

"I was young and idealistic in high school, I got lucky. I've seen how bad things can go wrong now." She argued.

"I am not saying you have to do it today, just think about it, and stop sleeping with your boss. You deserve more out of life than that."

"Thanks, Nate, but this is the life I chose, I'll think about the record company. Just don't expect too much."

"That's all I'm asking." He said as he wrapped his arm around her and leaned back into the pillow pulling her with him. They stayed snuggled up like that for the rest of the morning until Nathan had to go to practice.

* * *

"So, are you about ready for the game yet?" The curly haired woman yelled into the bathroom.

"Yeah" she said as she opened the door. "I just don't like to look like I just rolled out of bed, like some people" She said insinuating that Peyton had done such, only to receive a death glare from the blonde. "Just kidding."

"I can't believe Nathan gets to start tonight. I am so happy for him, he is finally playing in the NBA. I know this was always something his dad pushed him for in high school, but you could tell he wanted it too."

"Skillz seems kind of jealous about it, but I keep telling him he will get his turn."

"What else do you have to tell him to make that hold him over? Do you have to give him an extra workout later or something?" Peyton asked the redhead.

"No, believe or not, we haven't slept together yet."

"Yeah, uh huh." She said as she grabbed her keys and wallet and walked out the door.

Rachel was hot on her heels, "Really, we haven't. I am beginning to think he doesn't find me attractive."

She stopped to face the woman "Look, he rushed into things with Bevin, it became physical way to fast, and I think that he sees that as a major reason it didn't work out. He wants you, he just doesn't want to speed into things."

"And you know this?" She asked wanting to believe what Peyton was telling her, but not sure when he and Peyton had ever talked.

"When Nathan left for his practice yesterday, the one because he is starting, Skillz came over to his apartment, we talked. He really likes you." Rachel let out a sigh of relief, afraid of not being enough again, was making her panic. "Now come on I don't want to miss any of this." They began walking to the Staples center.

"So are you guys good?"

Peyton casually answered "Who? Me and Nate? We aren't dating."

Rachel pulled her jacket tighter against the cool night wind, "But you are sleeping together?"

"I forgot you walked in on that. It's nice being with him without necessarily being attached, emotionally you know."

"Yeah, because you are not emotionally attached." She replied sarcastically.

"I'm not." She said firmly. "So what are we going to do when they kick us out of the building. I think it is going to be soon since we have already gotten the letter confirming its condemnation."

"I don't know, I don't think we can find another apartment in the downtown area for that price, or even at a higher price. They don't last long."

"I know. We'll figure something out, but let's just have a good time tonight."

"Deal."

* * *

Rachel and Peyton found their seats in the fifth row, immediately feeling as though they were in high school again, and should be cheering on the team. They laughed remembering how easy it was to remember their cheers from years ago.

"Nathan Scott has had an impressive night, ladies and gentleman. I see a lot of promise in this young man. The ball is in motion again. James has it, he shoots for a three-pointer, and it falls to wrong side. Rebound goes to Green, and the Lakers have possession again. 10 seconds left now, and it's Scott with the ball."

Nathan glanced to the stands to see the curls cheering him on, he glanced at the clock, and then threw the ball. "He shoots, and it goes in. That's the game folks, rookie Nathan Scott just led the Lakers to a close 73-71 win over the Dallas Mavericks. Join us in two week as L.A. takes on the Bobcats in N.C."

Nathan found Peyton again in the stands, flashing her a smile, before he was scooted off the court with the rest of the team. She too smiled, happy to watch as Nathan's dreams came true.

* * *

Rachel and Skillz sat opposite of Peyton and Nathan at a small table in the back of a pizzeria. They had come out to celebrate the win over the Mavericks. "I can't believe you scored the game winning shot." Skillz offered.

"You're just jealous."

"Nah man I am glad it was you, now you need to work on getting me in the game."

"I'll try, they won't know what hits 'em when they meet the Taylor-Scott team." Nathan said bumping fists with his teammate of ages.

"Well, they just need to be glad they'll never see the Gatina-Sawyer team, we would totally kill," Rachel offered.

"Yeah, kill the team's support." Skillz coughed.

Nathan laughed, and both men earned a playful smack from the women. When they both rubbed their arms, Peyton laughed as well "You guys are such big babies."

"So this was nice, despite the attacks, we should get together more often." Nathan said giving his three friends a glance.

"Definitely" Skillz agreed. "Tomorrow good?"

Rachel gave Peyton a look before speaking. "We are looking for a new apartment tomorrow, sorry."

"Okay, maybe next week after we get back from North Carolina." Skillz said, unable to finish his sentence before Nathan cut in. "Wait, what? You guys are moving?"

Peyton kicked Rachel under the table for bringing it up on such a happy night for the boys before explaining. "Our building is condemned, we have to find a new place."

"But that is practically impossible." He spoke, concern in his voice.

"We know, but what can we do, right?" Rachel said with no worries.

"You could stay with us, right Nate?" said Skillz as he took another sip of his beer.

"Uh, yeah, of course." He agreed, caught off guard with the thought of living with Peyton.

"I don't know if that's a good idea. I'm sure Chris would let us crash until we found a place."

"Oh please no, I saw the way you came over after hanging out with him the other night. You should stay with me." Nate said with more confidence and certainty than he had moments earlier.

"Thanks, we'll try to find a place as soon as we can."

"No hurry." Skillz said before reaching for Rachel's coat to help her put it on.

* * *

Peyton awoke to feel Nathan strong arms wrapped around her. She shifted slightly to face the man whom she had fallen asleep with many times in the last few weeks. "Hey" she whispered into the morning air as he too opened his eyes.

"Hey" he whispered back, a small smile grazing his lips. She watched as his blue eyes lit up with the streams of light entering the room and his head pressed closer to hers. "I think I could wake up like this forever." He said as he pulled his lips from hers.

She only smiled before reconnecting their lips. She had moved in the morning following the Mavericks game. He had offered her free roam of all the drawers and anything she wanted, but she had chosen to keep her stuff semi organized in boxes in the corner, not wanting to impose. She however didn't refuse sleeping in his bed, as long as he joined her. They hadn't discussed what they were, but they were definitely sleeping together.

"Do you have practice this morning?" She asked as she leaned against his chest.

"I do, but I wish I could lay like this all day."

"I have to go to work anyway." She scrunched her nose in sadness before leaving the comfort of his warm arms. "What time is practice over, I was hoping you could come with me somewhere?"

"It is over at 2, where are you taking me?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"Nowhere fun" she frowned, sitting back down on the bed. "I have a doctor's appointment at 3:30. I was hoping you would go with me." She paused hoping he would say yes, and she wouldn't have to go through such a life altering event alone.

"I'll be there if you want me to be. But what's wrong, you don't think you are pregnant, do you?" He too became scared at the possibilities.

"There's a chance it's nothing, but after Ellie, there's a chance it's not nothing." She let the fear into her head, and the tears began flowing from her eyes.

"Peyton, you're scaring me, what is it?" He said leaning to her and wrapping her in his arms again.

"Sorry" She wiped her eyes with her hands "There's a lump in my left breast, and I scheduled this appointment to find out if it is cancer. I'm scared. Ellie died from this."


	17. Leave a Note

a/n: I don't own One Tree Hill. I'm so sorry for the long break I took in this story. I will try not to let that happen again. I am not really sure where I am going with this, but I will figure it out. Meanwhile, I hope you all still enjoy it. Thanks for being patient.

* * *

"Ms. Sawyer. We will call in five to seven days with the results. I can't promise you anything, but the fact that you came in so soon after feeling the lump can only help things." Dr. Bridges said as she finished writing down the final comments on Peyton's chart. She noticed the worry in Peyton's face. "I'll call when I find out something."

Peyton clutched onto Nathan's strong hand as they left the cold plain rooms of the doctor's office, and walked out into the busy LA streets. She was scared for her health, but something else was scaring her. She had fallen back into Nathan's life so quickly and easily. When he put his arm around her as they began to walk, she panicked and quickly spoke. "Nate, how about a coffee, or something, I'll wait out here on the bench." After receiving a sweet smile, Nathan left her alone. Alone to wonder why Nathan's presence had suddenly become so suffocating, why she was letting others in, especially now when it could so easily slip away. She had to gain control back, she needed a place to live, away from Nathan, away from Chris. If something was wrong with her, she would just devastate those whom she had recently let n. She needed her walls back, and soon.

"Thanks." She responded as a strong presence jolted her from her thoughts, and she began tasting the heat of the liquid slide down her throat.

"No problem. What do you want to do now? Talk? We can go to the park" Nathan wasn't really sure how to comfort Peyton, to make her feel like everything was okay, but he would do whatever she wanted. The last couple of months had completely changed his life. He no longer wanted to have sex with any beautiful women he walked into, he had someone to care about, and the fact that it was Peyton made him happier. They had been lovers before, they were even good friends later on, and now he felt like they were finally where they should be. Both had grown into just enough to make their relationship fit.

"I don't know. Why don't we go out tonight, just try to forget about everything." She said as she flashed him her green tinted eyes, the same ones he was beginning to love all over again.

* * *

"Rachel, over here." She said as she waved her hand in the air to gain the attention of her friend. A few drinks had made her movements sloppy, and she was glad that Rachel was there. The afternoon with Nathan had been depressing, not only because of the looming health issues, but because she was realizing just how close he had gotten. She wasn't sure how she was going to separate herself from her friends a second time. Living in LA while the rest of her friends lived elsewhere had worked in her favor the first time she wanted to break away from the confines of existing friendships, but now with all of her friends living in LA and she and Nathan living together, she was completely unsure how to change things.

"Peyton, how many have you had?" Rachel said giving the blonde a strange look, and then eyeing Nathan for an answer, but he was too busy talking to Skillz and Chris.

"Just a few. Let's dance." She said before grabbing the red haired woman's hair and dragging to the heart of the dance floor with her. The music was loud and the floor was crowded, and Peyton seemed to play along with it when the tall, dark, and handsome man behind began dancing with her, swaying with her. Rachel, however, was unsure what to think.

"Excuse us for just a moment." Flashing a fake grin, she added "Thanks." Then she proceeded to pull Peyton down a somewhat uncrowded and quiet hallway. "what the hell was that?"

"What was what?"

"That dancing, I thought you were here with Nathan."

"Look, I don't need this right now. I can't get back with Nathan. It will hurt both of us in the end. I don't want that. You've seen the way Haley looks at him, it is only a matter of time before she forgives him and they go back to being Naley. I need to get out of his apartment, and I need to move on."

"Peyton, he's already in this, so if you screw it up, he'll be hurting anyway." Rachel didn't stick around to listen to anymore of Peyton's excuses, she just walked back onto the dance floor hoping her words would stick in Peyton's head.

Peyton thought for second before rejoining the man on the dance floor. She continued dancing a little while longer, ignoring the looks she was receiving from Nathan, and even Chris. Rachel simply rolled her eyes and decided to let Peyton figure it out on her own. She almost felt relief when Peyton began walking towards Nathan again, but wasn't quite sure everything would be fine yet.

* * *

Nathan had been sober the whole night, refusing to drink when out wasn't anything new with him, he was a starter for a professional basketball team and he didn't want to screw that up, but watching Peyton the whole night had made his separation for alcohol difficult.

When he saw the blonde finally retreating from the dance floor, he was happy and wanted to jump at the opportunity to take her away from the sleaze she had been dancing with. "Peyton, do you want to dance?" He said quickly meeting her halfway on the dance floor.

Unsure of how to say what was next, she shook her head no lightly with regret filling her eyes.

"Do you want to sit and have a drink then?" He didn't want her back on the dance floor with him.

"Look, Nathan, I don't know how to say this. So, um, I'm just going to say. The sex with us was great, but you know it was just that right? Sex. I mean, you've been there for me, you're a real friend. Gabe here seems like a really cool guy so we are going to hang out for a while. See where it goes." She looked down before finishing, she didn't want to look him in the eyes when she said it. "I wouldn't wait up." Before he could say anything she had turned around and walked away. He looked up just in time for him to see her walking out the door with her arms around this 'Gabe' fellow. Before the tears could surface he headed towards the bar intent on downing a few shots, and then a few more until he could forget what just happened.

* * *

Peyton unwrapped her hands from around Gabe when the exited the club. They made sure to round the corner before they stopped and faced each other.

"So thanks for doing that for me."

"No problem." He said nicely, she seemed like a sweet girl and she didn't seem to want to be there with Nathan, so he quickly agreed to help her leave the club. "Do you mind if I ask why you couldn't just tell him you were leaving?"

"I guess I owe you at least that much. I wanted him to think I was moving on, he would get the picture, and I won't have so many chances to fall back into his arms if he thinks I am with other people. It's probably stupid, I know, but I just didn't know what else to do." She continued her rant, and stopped for his response. When he gave none, she added. "Thanks again for helping me."

"Really, it was no problem, and I hope you figure out what you really want in life. It's too short to spend it miserable." He said before turning to walk away.

* * *

As Peyton placed a few more shirts in the top of her suitcase, she sighed heavily realizing what she was doing wasn't the best way to things, but the only way she knew how. She knew she and Nathan were more than friends with benefits, and telling him otherwise before walking out the door with another man was low. The pain she knew would flash across his eyes was the reason she didn't look at him as she spoke, but this had to be done. She needed to separate herself.

She double checked the note she placed on his pillow, and zipped her suitcase, sure to leave her iPod in the front zipper for easy access. She grabbed her phone and coat and walked out the door, down the stairs to the front of the building and hailed a taxi to the airport. She had managed to get a flight that left in two hours.

* * *

Nathan stumbled into his apartment around 5 AM with a short brunette attached to his arm. And lips. He had managed to get completely wasted in a short period of time after Peyton made her little speech about them being nothing more than sex partners and friends. He had wanted to be more, thought they were more, and he wouldn't be bring other women home again had he been able to refrain from the clear beverage, but he hadn't, and now things were escalating quickly. They had removed several layers before entering the bedroom. Nathan froze when he saw a sheet of paper from Peyton's stationary on the pillow.

"Oh God, I can't do this." He said aloud causing a pause from the female as well.

"What do you mean. If you don't have a condom, it's fine. I'm on the pill, and I've been tested." She said before biting as his nipple.

He pushed her away gently. "I'm sorry. You have to leave. I'll call you a cab."

"Don't bother." She said before gathering her clothes and walking out the door.

Nathan sat down on the bed afraid to read the words on the paper in his hand, afraid she would belittle their friendship this time. He wondered if she had really meant the things she had said. He knew a relationship with Peyton wouldn't be simple, it never was. He also knew that he had to read the note.

"Nathan,

I know what I said earlier hurt you, but I need to move on, I can't do that in your bed. Even if that means sleeping with the wrong people to realize they aren't right for me. Gabe was a gentle and passionate man, just not for me. You have to know that you and I can't be together though. We were never good for each other, and I don't think that has changed. You're probably wondering why I can't just tell you this, but I needed to take a trip, right now I am probably on a plane going somewhere to find myself. I need to find myself before I can be the person I want to be, a person who can be a part of a 'we'. I don't know when I will be back in LA, I'll still need to get my stuff. You'll be happy to know I quit the record company. Thanks for helping me see that I need to change some things, and THANK YOU for being there for me over the last few weeks.

-Peyton =)

P.S.- I'll let you know what the doctor says."

He tried calling her cell a few times, but it went straight to voice mail every time. The fifth time he realized she was still probably on a plane and couldn't have her cell on, so he left a message.

"Peyton, it's me Nate. It did hurt to hear you say those things, I know you don't really feel that way. You can't. You mean a lot to me. It makes me happy to hear you quit. You deserve better than that. I will be waiting to hear from you. Please call me. I lo…beep." "love you" he finished to himself. Looking at the clock he realized it was time to leave for practice. He grabbed his cell phone and gym clothes and walked out the door, hoping he would hear from Peyton soon and that he wouldn't get in trouble for going to practice a little tipsy.


	18. Long, Long Way From Home

Author's Note: I know I sound like a broken record, but I am sorry I kept you waiting for so long. I procrastinate far more than I should, but I am working on getting better, hopefully it will show.

* * *

The flight from LA had lasted a little over five hours. She knew Nathan would be in practice by now, Rachel would be modeling, and Chris and Haley would be trying to find another record deal or writing some more music. She didn't, however, know what Brooke would be doing or why she had decided to use half of the money she had saved to fly to New York to see her. Their friendship had dwindled down to nearly nothing over the years, and the indiscretion with Lucas after the proposal only served to separate the two more.

Shaken from her thoughts by the bustle of people around her, she found herself in front of the luggage rack waiting for the one black bag she packed. She knew when she returned to LA that she would have to see Nathan again because she left her stuff there. She secretly wanted that reason to see him again, even if he hated her after the way she ran. She knew he would be better off without her permanently in his life.

"Damn" she cursed aloud when she looked up to see it roll by.

"Is this one yours?" a tall skinny brunette man asked. He was charming in a boyish a way, like he could be mischevious. He wasn't at all what she thought New Yorker's were like.

"Thanks." She responded quietly, putting a stray piece of hair behind her ear, trying to hide her eyes that she knew were overpuffed and red. He shrugged and said your welcome before walking away.

Thoughts once again consumed her until she found her self amidst the crowd of hurried people on the streets of New York City. She didn't know which way to walk, she didn't really know anything about New York. She had been there once to help with one of the labels artists, but they had provided precise instructions on where to lead the band. Now she was on her on a street she wasn't sure what was, so she walked in the direction of the tallest building remembering what Brooke had once told her about her store.

"_Oh my God, Peyton, you won't believe the store. It is about two blocks from Times Square." Brooke squealed about the store she had just purchased to house her designs. A year into fashion designer schooling and she had already landed the financial backing of one of the most prominent professors._

"_That's great, Brooke. Do you have any items for it yet?" Peyton questioned truly happy that her friend had found success in her short time away from Tree Hill._

"_I have about ten pieces already finished and about twenty more ready to start." She paused for a minute and Peyton knew that Brooke was wanting to ask her something._

"_You can ask for anything, I'll help you how I can." Brooke sighed._

"_Will you create a cheery, elegant logo that I can use for my labels and my storefront? I know you are super busy, but you know me better than anyone. I'll pay you." She said excited at the prospect of starting her dream._

"_Of course I will, Brooke, I'd do anything for you. Your like my sister. I won't even charge you."_

"_Yay." Peyton winced at the sound that traveled through phone._

"_Okay so it needs to match the dress I sent you the picture of last week, and it should…" her friends voice continued through the line until Peyton understood what she was designing. _

That was about three weeks before she told Lucas 'someday' and he ran into Brooke's arms.

"This is a dangerous city, you know?" she heard a male voice from behind her approaching.

"Excuse me?" she turned to look at the same man who had helped with her luggage. He now carried a small cup of coffee in his hands and scarf snuggled around his neck.

"I was just warning you that this isn't the safest of towns, and you don't seem to be very aware of your surroundings. Here take this. It'll wake you up." He offered her his cup of coffee with a warm smile and sparkling eyes.

"I can't" she said politly, finally looking at the man's face.

"I haven't drank any of it yet, but if you would be more comfortable. Let me buy you one straight from a store, so you know I'm not some psycho or something." He again flashed her a grin. Something about the woman seemed so lost, and he couldn't not help her, especially in this big town.

Before she could think about it, she replied "Coffee probably isn't such a bad idea."

"Great, then it is settled then. I'll buy you a coffee. There's a café about two blocks ahead." He said as he began to walk with the motion of the crowd around them. "I'm Julian, by the way. Julian Baker." He extended his hand and they continued walking.

"Peyton Sawyer."

As they settled into one of the small round tables in the corner of the small Parisian decorated room, they both sipped at their coffee awkwardly. "So, Peyton. I'm sorry to butt in, but are you okay? I'll listen if you need to vent or talk about anything." He said hoping she would let whatever was weighing her down off her chest.

"I'm fine, I'm just not really sure what I'm doing here. I live in LA, and I don't really know why I chose to come to New York." Shifting awkwardly she tried to change the subject. She should at least make the effort to find out more about the man who had been so kind her. "How about you? Why are putting so much effort into helping me?"

He grinned at her confusion. "I know what it feels like to be lost." He stated before taking another sip of the dark brown liquid. "I'm a movie producer, and I don't quite fit in. If I'm honest, the only reason I'm still in the business is because my father heads up the company I'm with."

"Have you produced anything I might have seen?" She questioned.

"Probably not, I've had a few films that made it to LA's local film scene. My goal for next year is Sundance, and I have no ideas of what I'm going to do." She noticed the cheerful demeanor disappear when he discussed his lack of works.

"If you are really lost, I could give you inspiration for a comedy."

"Oh, really? Would that be for a blonde woman from LA getting lost in New York?" He asked jokingly referring to the situation through which they had met.

"No, it would be about a boy who promised a girl he would love her forever, but when she says 'someday' to his proposal, he leaves her in a hotel room to come to New York and sleep with her best friend. There's a published book that describes everything up to the proposal, and I could fill you in on the rest." She faked a smile, and he could see that this was one of the reasons she seemed so lost.

"Do you still love him?" Julian asked removing the sarcasm from the conversation.

"No, he's a jackass, but I think I'm in love with his brother, which is even more horrible." She let the tears that hadn't been present since the plane ride reappear, but she continued. It felt good to finally say all the things she had needed to say for so long. "His father wasn't very easy on him. He pushed him hard for the largest portion of his childhood. When we were in high school, his dad killed their uncle during the school shooting. He's been through a lot. He lost his son a few years ago, and after that his marriage just fell apart. We got together for the second time in LA a few weeks ago, and now I might…" She grapped a napkin and wiped the excessive tears.

"You don't have to continue." He said gently rubbing her back.

She shook her head gently. "I might have cancer, and I can't bear the thought of him losing someone else in his life. Losing his son was so hard." When he remained silent, she jerked away slightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say all of that. Do you know where Clothes over Bros is, I need to go there?"

He nodded and helped her from her chair before wrapping his arms around her shoulders and leading her in the direction of Times Square. If she wasn't so hung up on Nathan Scott, she would have sworn that Julian Baker would be the love of her life, but instead she would settle for the friendship he seemed to be offering. He was glad he stopped to help the flustered blonde, despite the many issues she seemed to be going through. He only hoped he'd helped some, and he made a mental note of the story she had offered earlier, even if only joking.

He stopped abruptly and she looked around her to see the logo she had created a few years back. "Thank you, Julian." She reached forward quickly to give him a hug, and then retreated to her personal space.

"Look, I live in LA too. If you ever need to talk, this is my number. And if you ever have a movie idea, please call. I hope everything works out for you Peyton." He said, ensuring she had grasped the card with his number and walking away.

She took a deep breath before taking the few short steps into the store that was owned by her best friend of more years than she could remember.

"P. Sawyer. Oh my God." She said with the worry retreating from her eyes and her arms gripping Peyton's body frantically.

"Brooke, why are squeezing the life out of me?" she said grasping for the air that Brooke was squeezing away. She had expected Brooke to be happy that she had made the journey her New York store. After everything that happened with Lucas, the relationship between the two had been forced afterwards and Peyton thought that coming here would show Brooke that she was ready to work on their friendship, but the deathgrip she was receiving now was a sign of something more.

"Nathan called me, and he was so worried. I know you've probably heard by now that Luke is getting married. I just wanted to know if you were okay. But it looks like you are." She squeezed her friend once more. "Thank God."

Peyton lost herself in her thoughts for what seemed like the millionth time since she boarded the plane to leave LA. Nathan had called Brooke. Had he known where she was going? Did he know her better than she knew herself?

* * *

"Scott, your late! Suicides. NOW." He added when Nathan was slow to respond.

"Yes sir, coach." Nathan lined up at the end of the court and began the treacherous punishment for his lateness. Each touch of a line slipping him further away from drunkenness and into a land of hangover.

He wasn't one to normally have hangovers. After all, he had been perfecting the art of alcohol since his teenage years, but last night was different. When Peyton had walked out of the club on the arms of the Gabe fellow, he had begun downing anything within sight. It was painful, and the feeling in his body was nothing compared to the weight on his heart. Sure they had only been back in each other's lives now for a few short months, but it seemed like the piece that made his life whole again. He had no longer needed the random hookups, or to even look at other women. Peyton was more than anything he could want or need. Unlike in high school, this time, despite the undrawn rules of their relationship, he hadn't wanted to stray from her.

His teammates notice his slowness in running the drills, and quickly aimed upon his weakness. "Scott, is that the best you've got, my grandma can run faster than you."

"You got no game."

"One hit wonder, that's all you are. This is our team."

Nathan's early cockiness had not set well with the other team members. He had come in expecting to run the show, and practically had with his winning a starting position. The players thought that the coach was playing favorites, and they were ready to tear him down emotionally to ensure they retained control of what they had worked for. As sad as it was, Nathan had been in their position before when Lucas had first joined the Ravens. Even then though, it had been about more than basketball. Nathan Scott needed to rule the team because of the disorder and lack of control in his own life.

Nathan watched as the one of the players dropped some water out of their bottle onto the court where Nathan was headed. Unable to stop or changed direction, he slipped. He was on his feet quickly, but not continuing the suicides he had been tasked with. "Damn it. What's your problem?" He said closing the distance between himself and number 1 on the team.

"I got no problems." He said holding his hands wide. "This is my team, and we're great. You're bringing us down though. What's the problem?" Nathan stood listening to the comments, anger boiling up through his icy eyes. "Haven't been laid in a while or something? Let me guess the blonde slut you're with won't touch your skanky ass no more?" The team joined in laughter, but the moment was short lived. Nathan found his fist pounding into his face as he played the words 'blonde slut' over and over in his mind, ignoring any truth that his teammate may have stumbled upon.

"Nate, dog, come on!" Skillz yelled as he and a few other members separated the two. Nathan still angry.

"Scott." The coach yelled. "You're suspended until the North Carolina game, or longer, depending on your attitude. I expect to see you on the bench, but not a second sooner. That means no practices. Now get the hell out of my gym."

Nathan didn't say anything, he just pushed the double doors opened with his built up anger and listened as they slammed shut. Now he had gone and screwed up basketball too. Maybe he needed to do some soul searching of his own.

* * *

A/N: So I know you are probably wondering why I brought Julian into this story. In this chapter I wanted a stranger for Peyton to meet, and I really like Julian on the show. I wanted to write him in. Don't rule out a date or anything, but he is definitely not endgame in this story. That is reserved for Pathan, no matter how long it takes me to write away their issues.


	19. What Do You Do

A/N: Another update. I am surprising myself. Hopefully the next one won't take too long. Hope you guys are still enjoying this story.

* * *

They sat quietly at the small table in the dim restaurant conveniently located across the street from Brooke's store. Brooke was playing with the leaves in her delicate salad debating on whether to say what she wants or to keep it to herself. Each push of her fork changes her mind, and eventually she speaks up. "Why are you here, Peyton?" she didn't mean for it come out like that. It sounded better in her head, but she wanted to know. Things had changed between the two and she knew it was mostly because of what she did with Lucas and not the distance between them. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that, but…?"

She was cut off when Peyton stopped her from rambling further. "But you're wondering what could possibly bring me to New York to see you? I understand, Brooke. And honestly, everything brought me here. I miss you, and I feel like my life is in pieces. I'm trying to find out how to change it. I want everything to make sense, I want to be proud of myself. I want our friendship back." Her words came out slowly, and she didn't directly look at Brooke. When there was no response, she pushed forward. She wanted closure with the past. "Why did you sleep with him, Brooke?" She caught Brooke's eyes as her name escaped her mouth.

Brooke could see the glimmer of water in her once best friend's eyes, and she was ashamed of herself all over again, despite not actually having done anything wrong. Lucas was the Achilles hill to their relationship. With him, girl code and any other decency shown to friends seem to fly out the window. "I don't know. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but he's still the only guy who has ever made me feel like I deserve to be loved, despite myself. I'm not proud of it, Peyton. You have to know that, not that it is an excuse, but we were also beyond plastered and nursing broken hearts."

"I understand it. He has this way of making you feel like he is the only one who could ever love or understand you, but he never means it. He just is blessed with words, and he and those words seems to be our weakness. I want us to be us again, though. Do you think we ever can be? I want you to be my _sister_ again?"

"I want that, too. I think all we have to do is put in some effort, and we can be. I really am sorry." She smiled weakly to her blonde friend.

"I know." She looked back down at her food and finally felt somewhat easier with her life.

"Not that I want to mess with our renewed friendship, but are you okay with Lucas getting married? Haley said she told you." She reached for her hand.

"Yeah, you probably aren't getting this from our conversation, but I am not in love with him anymore. I think he's proven more than once that he's moved on. Recently I've just been sad that he so easily tears our friendship down, when we work so hard to get it back." She meant it. Lucas Scott flipped the switch on her love the moment he slept with Brooke. It didn't make it any less painful, and it definitely destroyed a little bit of her faith in love.

"I'm glad you're okay with it. We don't have to like her though, do we?" She said with a dimpled, mischievous smile.

"We'll see. Let's at least meet her first." She said as she returned the smile, thankful Brooke was trying to lighten the mood.

"You're no fun, P." she said thankful they could use nicknames once again. "I feel so lost, do you want to feel me in on why Nathan, Nathan Scott, your ex-boyfriend, Haley's ex-husband, my ex-hookup whatever is calling worried sick about a certain P. Sawyer when I had absolutely no clue you two even kept in touch anymore?" she rambled, giving a look indication that the two were hooking up.

"It's a long story, but here's the condensed version. My building got condemned and he offered me a place to stay. It doesn't matter though. I'm moving out soon." Brooke noticed the hint of sadness as she spoke those words.

"Why do I get the feeling that there is another reason you are here?" Brooke didn't doubt that Peyton wanted their friendship back, but she was guessing there was something driving this change.

Not wanting to tell Brooke about her current medical scare, she found herself relived when the other woman's phone rang and Millie needed Brooke's assistance at the store. "So you'll meet me back at the store before you leave town tonight, right?"

"Yes, I'll be there soon." She took one last drink of her water before continuing. "And Brooke?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad we're going to get it back, our friendship. I really have missed it."

"Me too." She whispered into the curly hair as they hugged, and then Brooke ran to take care of matters at the store. Peyton was glad that her store was doing well, and her best friend was successful. She wished that one day she could think the same for herself, but of course that would depend upon what the doctor had to say when he calls.

* * *

"Nathan Scott!" the red haired woman walked into the his high rise apartment, fuming. "What the hell is going on with you? Skillz told me about your scuffle at practice. Do you want to lose basketball? Are you that stupid?"

"Rachel, I don't really need this right now?" He said as he dropped the glass from his mouth. "Just go away."

"What the hell? You don't get to practice for a week, and you are drinking instead of making sure you keep your spot on the team? Now I know why Skillz called and asked me to come kick your ass." Skillz had gone into the locker room after Nathan left the gym, and made the phone call, knowing he would be at practice all day.

"Damn it." He threw the glass across the room in anger, watching the pieces slide across the hardwood. "She left, after everything, she just left."

Rachel hadn't heard anything as it had just happened last night, but apparently her words to Peyton hadn't made the impact she wanted. "I'm sorry." She sat down next to the man, lightly rubbing his back in an attempt to let him know someone was there.

"It doesn't matter anyway. I should've been prepared for this. There's something to her people always leave. I should have known she'd run, too much was going on."

"Nathan…" she started.

"No, I'm stupid for thinking we could be a functional couple, we haven't even worked through all of our issues. Once again, our relationship is based on sex. I didn't think I would be here again." He seemed to be talking to the air, but Rachel knew this wasn't true. As an outsider of their relationship, she and Skillz saw the effect they had on each other.

"Nathan, I know it may not look like it, but she cares about you so much. When I first came here she was so hollow on the inside, and God when she overdosed, Chris and I were so worried, but she came to you, and when we saw her again, she seemed okay. She's scared that she's going to hurt you. Don't give up on her."

Nathan sat there, happy he was a help to Peyton's mood over the last few weeks, until one of her statements set in. "Wait, when did Peyton overdose?" He looked worried. "Was she on drugs?"

"She never told you. It was one of the first few nights you guys hung out. She had been entertaining that blacklight band when she just kind of fell into party. I think it was only like first time since high school." She looked on as Nathan seemed to be wrapping his head around the words she was saying. "Look, my point is. I know you two care about each other, and it looks like you are good for each other, when you get it together. I know she ran, but it doesn't mean she doesn't care. I just think you should let her know that she can't lose you that easily."

"Rachel, as soon as I find out where she is, I'm going. I've called everyone I can think of. While it may not be easy, I think if we can fix it, it would be worth everything."

"Sorry, I jumped at you. I just don't want to see you lose basketball. I'll call a few people too. I'll let you know if I find anything."

"Thanks, Rachel. You're a good friend."

"Lay off the whiskey for a while." She said before walking out the door with the cell phone to her ear.

* * *

"Brooke?" Nathan's voice rang through the phone. She could tell he hadn't slept in a while.

"Nathan, she's here." He sighed in relief. He had been worried despite the note she had left. He was also glad she was with Brooke. No matter what happened between the two of them, he knew that Brooke would make sure she was okay.

"I'll book my flight." He said hastily.

"Don't. I don't think she is staying. I just wanted to let you know she is okay. I'll let you know, but I would expect her to go to Tree Hill next. Her dad is in town. I'll call you when I know for sure, okay?"

"I'll book my flight to Tree Hill, then. My next game in North Carolina. Call me when she leaves, or if something changes though."

"I will. I have to go." The phone beeped indicating the phone call ended, and he dialed Rachel's number to tell her his plans, so she could tell Skillz, and he would not be MIA as well. He booked a flight for the next morning, deciding he needed a strong nights sleep to rid his body of the alcohol and prepare himself for the days to come. Going back to Tree Hill would be a big event for more reasons than just letting Peyton know he was on her side.

* * *

After hanging up the phone with Nathan, she was relieved they he was willing to fight for her, but she upset with Peyton. Rachel was never one to bite her tongue and she intended for Peyton to know exactly what she thought. When she heard the beep indicating that Peyton wasn't answering, she began her message. "Peyton, I know you're phone is on, and I know you are being so selfish. Nathan cares about you, he's helped you through the past few weeks, and you run off. He's having a shitty day and it's your fault. Don't screw up the one good thing you have going for you. Don't give up on Nathan." She pressed the end button. She loved Peyton. The past few months in LA, they had formed a lasting friendship, and she knew her bluntness wouldn't ruin that with Peyton, but she also knew that Peyton was hurting too. She dialed the number back and waited for the beep once more…"Sorry I was so harsh, I just can see how this will tear you both back down. I just want you to be happy. Call me and let me know if you're okay and if you need anything."

* * *

A/N: What does Nathan have to face back in Tree Hill, anyone know? Will he need Peyton to face it?


	20. EraseReplace

A/N: I still don't own it, One Tree Hill, that is. Anyway, I've been reading a lot of my past work, and I make a lot of grammatical errors and typos, so I apologize. I get in a hurry to post what I've written, so no doubt these errors are a result of that. Hope this one isn't filled with too many. Hope you are still enjoying it although I guess this chapter is technically cold in new york and the ones following will be cold in North Carolina. We'll be back in California at some point. Anyway, sorry for the rambling. Enjoy!  


* * *

Peyton pressed the ignore button on her phone each time it rang displaying Nathan's number. She pressed the same button when Rachel called. She knew she shouldn't be screening her calls, but she honestly didn't want to talk them yet. She hadn't figured out her plans for the future, right now she was relying on whatever whim hit her. She did have one thing she needed to do, so she pulled out the number located on the back of her appointment reminder card and dialed slowly. It rang once, she could feel her heart jumping into her throat. It rang twice, she felt shaky. Luckily she didn't have to wait for the third ring before the receptionist answered and greeted her.

"Hi, this is Peyton Sawyer. The doctor is waiting on some test results for me. Has he gotten them back yet?" Her voice came out scratchy. She would love for Nathan to be standing beside her holding her hand, rather than holding the iron backing of the small café chair. But she was doing this for him, she had to keep telling herself.

"Ms. Sawyer. Let me go check for you, sweetie. I'll be right back." The receptionist sounded way too kind and Peyton could tell if it was her normal character or if she was somehow trying to prepare her for the worst.

It seemed like forever before she heard the sugary voice again, and when she began speaking Peyton could feel herself holding her breath. She was in the middle of a crowded café in the busy city of New York, but she felt as though she were alone and the world were standing still. "Ms. Sawyer, the doctor will be you in just moment, okay?"

"Thank you."

"Ms. Sawyer," the male voice echoed through the phone. She tried to analyze it, but she could tell what he might say. He seemed indifferent, and he probably was. Why would he care about her in particular; he had many patients, some of which received bad news. She just hoped she wasn't one of them.

"Yes"

"Your test results came back just about an hour ago. I'm happy to tell you that the mass sample we removed was not cancerous. There were some strange levels in your tissue sample though that I would like to run some more tests on. Don't get too alarmed, most of the time this particular level leads to nothing serious. Can you come in next week?"

"I don't know if I can make next week. Can I call you when I get back to town to set up an appointment?"

"Sure you can, just don't wait too long. A couple of months, tops."

"I can do that. Thank you." She felt as though a weight had been lifted off her.

The people starting reappearing slowly, she was coming back into reality. A reality where she found herself in New York, alone for the most part, that's how she wanted it, right? She found her phone again, knowing a promise she made that she had to keep. She didn't want to call, so she began typing the words "I'm sorry for everything, Nate. I hope you know that. The doctor called. It's NOT cancer!!"

She grabbed her foam cup still full of coffee and exited the small café, knowing that Brooke would be expecting her show up soon.

"P., I was wondering when you would show up." She noticed that the look in her friends eye had changed since their lunch together. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She said batting away any tears that were forming. They weren't tears of relief completely, because she still had to go in for more tests, she had left Nathan most likely angry with her; these tears were a direct result of the stress.

"Oh, Peyton, you look a mess. Look, let me just go talk to Millicent and then we can go out and relax, get whatever's bothering out." She said as she touched her friend's shoulder in a comforting manner.

"Brooke, you don't have to do that. I'll be fine. It's just jet lag." She fibbed. It was more than jet lag, but she didn't want to open all of her wounds, even if she and Brooke had decided to repair their broken friendship.

"Peyton, I want to. If you don't want to do it for you, do it for me. I work too much. I need a girl's night." She flashed a smile that only Brooke Davis could with pleading eyes, and Peyton had to nod in agreement. "Great, so let me go talk to Millicent, and then we will go."

* * *

Three hours and a bottle of wine later, the two women were sitting in an upscale bar in the nicer side of town. It was Brooke's treat, of course. Peyton could only pay for another plane ticket before she was broke again. She had Brooke had talked about Brooke's failed relationships, her horrible mother and the way she tried to control the company, and a little bit Peyton. Brooke was trying not to push for the information, knowing that would stop any chance of getting it all together.

"So Chris Keller wouldn't take a record deal… Why the hell not?" she laughed, remembering Chris somewhat fondly after their night talking in Texas when she was still in high school.

"Let's just say he has a better moral compass than I do." Peyton said not breaking into laughter because she was talking about something that wasn't funny. Brooke, however, nearly spit out her wine at that comment.

"Yeah, right, and my mother deserved to have kids." She added sarcastically displaying her disbelief.

"Brooke, I've done some things I'm not very proud of, and I've become this person that I don't even like." She said and immediately began searching her friends face for the disappointment she expected to find, but it wasn't there. Instead she found kindness and understanding.

"The world away from Tree Hill, or even in Tree Hill, is a crazy place, and sometimes we take paths that we know we shouldn't, but we do, and we just have to move forward. Do you want to talk about it?"

"When Luke left me in the hotel, I was so angry about everything, and the music scene is corrupt. I probably should have known that from my first meeting with Chris, but I was blind. It started with leaving a few buttons unfastened to get into meetings and somehow it turned into meeting in a fancy hotel to get an artist signed."

"Oh Peyton…" Brooke said reaching for her friend's hand.

"I quit though, I'm gonna figure it out, and do what I love where I can still be proud of myself."

"Good, because it sucks to wake up one day and realize you don't like who you are. I know you don't want to talk about it, but that is the way I felt for so long after everything with Luke."

"Brooke, I told you. It's not an issue with us anymore." She really was over Lucas, but she still didn't forgive him. Brooke, on the other hand, she could forgive because she understood how it could happen.

"I know what you said, I just still feel really bad about it."

"Brooke, forgive yourself for this. Be happy, you deserve it."

"So do you, Peyton." She took another sip of her wine before continueing. "So are you ever going to let me in on whatever this is that is happening with boy toy and you? I thought you guys were over, oh I don't know, almost a decade ago."

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it, but it's over. We both have way to many issues that we need to work on. Well, okay so mainly me, and then there's Haley. She still wants to forgive him, and when she does, you can just tell that she wants to put their family back together. It'll just be easier for him if there's nothing going on with me. He won't get hurt."

"You mean you won't get hurt?" Brooke added, not so questioning.

"Brooke.."

"No, Peyton, it's sounds like your running away from something you want because your afraid of getting left alone again."

"You haven't seen the way Haley still looks at him, Brooke." She defended her stance.

"How does he look at her? Peyton, you can't run away from everyone who gets too close because your afraid it will end."

"But what if it ends badly like with Lucas? What if everything I don't like about myself, he sees and wonders why he wants to be with me, too? I can't go through that again, Brooke." She said

"But what if it doesn't?" She said with so much hope that Peyton almost wanted to pull out her cell phone and call Nathan right then. "There has to be a reason you two found each other again. Two thousand miles away from home? What if you were meant to find each other again, Maybe Lucas and Haley and Jake were just paths you needed to take so that you could be where you are now?"

"There's more than that, I don't want him to end up hurt. You have met me right. I have a lot of issues that I am still working through, if I've even begun working on them. And then he's lost Jamie, what if something happens to me? I don't know if he is strong to lose another person in his life?"

"Peyton, honey, why are you being so cryptic? What are you worried about happening to you?" She asked worry she might open up something she wasn't prepared for.

"Ellie died of cancer. I had a lump in my breast, and I had it checked and apparently it's not cancer, but I still have to have some other tests run. And just because it's not cancer now doesn't mean that it won't be next month, next year. We're not invincible Brooke. The history of cancer is there, I can't bear the thought of him having to go through it with me, if I ever got it."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've been there for you?"

"I guess that is part of the reason I'm here." She admitted fumbling with the napkin in her hands. She hadn't planned to tell Brooke any of this, but here she was sharing everything. Maybe it was the fact that keeping it to herself made her hurt Nate, or maybe telling Julian that morning had made talking about okay. She was glad to be telling her friend though, despite not planning to.

"And part of the reason Nathan sounded so worried when he called looking for you. Peyton, he obviously cares about you. No we're not invincible, but it's not just you it's all of us. You can't be scared because of that or you'll never feel love yourself. As for your issues, I bet Nathan would understand them better than anyone I could ever imagine you with."

"I still don't know, Brooke. I think I'm gonna go to Tree Hill and try to figure out my life, my dad's there, and I just need somewhere that feels like home right now."

"I think that's a good idea." Brooke agreed, not mentioning the fact that she knew Nathan would be going there too. Maybe they could both emerge more whole from a trip home. Maybe she could too. "Why don't I book us to seats on a plane for tomorrow and we both go home for a little soul searching."

"Thanks, Brooke."

"I love you, P. Now let's figure out a way for me to meet that cutie over there at the bar." She said pointing to the same man Peyton had spent her morning talking to. He threw her a wave when she turned.

"Julian."

"Wait, you know him? You're not interested in him, or anything right?" She said opting out of any repeats of their triangles from the past.

"No, no. I met him after I got off the plane. Apparently, he is from LA and he listens very well. He let me vent this morning. I'm surprised he isn't ducking so I don't see him. I would definitely avoid me if I were him, but you two…" Peyton smiled happily at her friend, wheels turning in her head. "… would make an adorable couple, and then you could open a branch in LA, and we wouldn't have to suck at this long distance friendship thing."

"You're going back to LA?"

At some point." She said simply. LA was where she wanted to be, her dad and maybe Karen were the only reasons to go to Tree Hill. It was more for memories. In LA she had friends, and then there was Nate, and she still didn't know what she was going to do about that, but Brooke had put the possibility back in her head.

"Good, now introduce me." She said rising from her seat and grabbing Peyton's hand hastily. Both girls were thankful they had worked on their friendship and worked on some issues along the way.


	21. Back Where I Don't Belong

A/N: I don't own OTH. Wow, so everytime I post, I seem to apologize for my lack of updating. So why make this time any different. It has been too long. I haven't known where exactly I was taking this story, and I need to have a serious sit down with pen and paper to map it out, but I didn't manage to a few story lines out of my head. My current obsession with Peyton Sawyer and Dean Winchester crossovers has temporarily taken over my thoughts. So again I'm sorry for the lack of updates. Thanks a bunch to those of you who are still reading, especially those who review. You seriously give me the kick in the butt I need to finish the story.

* * *

The perky flight attendant's voice rang through the speakers of the small airplane "We will be arriving in our destination, Tree Hill North Carolina, in approximately 10 minutes. Please fasten your seat belts as we prepare for our descent. Thank you."

"So are you ready for this?" Brooke looked questioningly at her best friend.

"I'm ready to see my dad, it's been too long." She replied sadly. She hadn't seen her dad since she stepped on the plane to go to LA about six years ago. Sure they had talked, they even still used the web cam when they could, but the holidays never worked out right. She couldn't get off long enough to make the trip across country and he couldn't get off the boat when she finally did get a few days. Maybe they could have both tried a little harder, maybe not. What was important was that she would get to see him now, and maybe that would be the inspiration she needed to start the next chapter in her life, pursuing something more meaningful that she could be proud of.

"It has been too long." Brooke smiled mischievously, only for Peyton to cringe when the light bulb went off.

"Eww. B., you cannot seriously still think my dad is a 'DILF' as you put it?"

"I'm joking. I do miss him though. He was more of a father to me than my own." She looked down at her dress and added "I'm going to be so wrinkled when we finally get off this plane. You know, I still can't believe he wanted to come to Tree Hill with us. It just seems crazy? All of this for a movie idea."

Peyton raised an eyebrow at her friend, amused by her cluelessness. "All of this for a movie idea? Your delusional if you think that is the only reason he got on this plane."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked slightly offended.

"It means I saw the fireworks when you two met, so I know you had to as well. He came here to try to get to know you." she arched her eyebrow knowingly.

"I guess I might have thought as much, but I really wanted to hear someone else say it so I'd know I wasn't being a self absorbed, conceited fashion diva." They both were quiet for the remainder of the descent, happy with the progress they had made together.

About 25 minutes later, Peyton was left walking alone to get her luggage, while Julian and Brooke flirted with each other shamelessly. She loved every bit of it as she watched Brooke on the verge of genuine happiness.

"So Brooke Davis, fashion extraordinaire. Just how did I get so lucky that I get to accompany you around this fine town that you call home?" He said putting his arm out for her to hold, in true gentleman fashion. Perhaps, Brooke had found someone to finally love her, simply for being her.

"Well, you used my best friend and mine's life story shamelessly as a movie idea, and traveled here under the false pretense of actually making this into a movie, and you are here' she motioned to their linked arms "because you happen to be devilishly charming."

"I'm sure that does help." he smiled at her happily.

"So, are you sure you really want to meet Lucas? I don't know if this story is really going to be able to make a movie or not," she stated hesitantly before adding "and I'm not sure if I really want to have to watch it."

"Look, after I talked to Peyton the first day in New York, I went and read the book. It's good, good enough to be a movie." he beamed at the possibility of finally showing his father what he was capable of, but it wasn't something he could do if all parties involved weren't open to the idea. "If at some point you decide that you don't want to see this played out on the screen, then we'll pull it. Simple as that. It's at least worth looking into, right?"

"I don't know. Part of me feels like all of this is so far in the past that it was a different version of me, but then I look in the mirror and she's still there." she surprised herself at how easily her innermost thoughts escaped in this man's presence. But if there was one thing she'd learned, it was that holding back doesn't get you anywhere.

"Who?" he questioned.

"The girl with all of the insecurities. The one whose heart he trampled because she let him have that power over her."

"Brooke."

"No, I mean, it's okay. I just still see her sometimes, and I wonder if that could happen again."

"You're amazing Brooke Davis, and if you ever start thinking otherwise, call me. I won't hesitate to tell you the truth. That he was a fool for the way he treated you girls. You deserve better."

"Okay."

"Okay?" he searched her face for the question she seemed to be answering.

"Let's go see about making a movie, but only if Peyton still agrees. She is the main half."

They had finally reached the luggage rack where Peyton awaited her bags. "So best friend, how do you feel about this movie?"

"I say let Lucas relive it. Let him live to regret his actions." She sighed nonchalantly, staring at the luggage.

"Bitter much, Sawyer?" Julian chimed.

"No... Yes... I don't know. I still hate what he's done to us and our friendship, but I don't love him if that's what you are implying."

"Oh that's right. You love his brother." Peyton flinched as Brooke's face beamed with delight at the knowledge that the other Scott would be there to mend her best friend's heart. Peyton hoped she could make it work with him somehow. She knew that would take a lot on her part.

"Look guys, I think I'm going to stop by and see my mom, when we get back. You guys can go ahead and talk to Lucas if you want. I need to stop by and see someone else, too."

"Your dad?" Brooke questioned.

"No. Well, yeah. Him too, but I was thinking more along the lines of Whitey."

"I think that's a great idea Peyton." Brooke knew that Whitey was a no bullshit kind of man. If anyone would tell Peyton to go after her heart, Whitey would. And he would explain it in simple terms that just might push the blonde in the right direction. She was also glad that she would be gaining the free time to inform a certain dark haired Scott brother of their return the town they all called home. And then there was the small fact, that she would have to usher a handsome movie producer through the town.

* * *

"Mom." Nathan said quietly as he watched his mother stir the pasta she was tending to. He had decided it was finally time to come back to the town that nearly destroyed him, to the home that nearly helped it.

"Nathan!" she screamed dropping the wooden spoon on the napkin by the stove. "You're home. Honey, I've missed you."

"I know. I've missed you too, Mom." he countered as she wrapped her arms around her son.

"How is he?" he asked quietly afraid of knowing just where the two stood at this point.

"Not well, " she said returning her attentions to the meal before her. She wasn't really sure how to fix the broken relationship between her husband and son. She wasn't sure that either would really benefit from it.

"Do you think he'll talk to me?"

"Probably not, but you can try. He's in the sitting room, watching old tapes." Not much had changed in Dan Scott's mindset. Dan Scott once went to prison to protect his son, but Dante's death had been ruled out as a homicide, maybe partly because he was the mayor. His confession to his own brother's murder had sent him to prison again, but the plea was declared to have been made because of personal guilt, not that of actually having commited the crime, even though he had. After being released he had made a promise to himself. He wouldn't hurt those that he loved anymore. Deb was the love of his life, no matter how much either had denied it. He eventually won her back, and the love of his son and a grandchild. But it was short-lived, when the same accident that took Jamie Scott's life also took his own in some sense. But prison, twice, reconnecting with his wife, falling out with his son, and losing a grandson, still left him the bitter man who missed his shot at greatness as a basketball player. It was the reality that never seemed to leave him no matter what else should overshadow it.

Nathan decided it was worth chancing, he had after all made the journey back to Tree Hill. He might as well face all of his demons. "Dad" he stated as he walked into the dark room, lit only by the light of the television. The television playing the freshman Nathan Scott, player for the Tree Hill Raven's. The screen reminding Nathan of the days when Peyton Sawyer was his escape, despite how badly he screwed that up then.

"Nathan" he responded back, with no emotion present as Nathan took the chair beside his father's.

"So you're walking again?" he said trying to make small talk as he caught sight of the cane resting against the chair. Nathan knew rehab had been working and that Dan had been walking again for months, getting stronger each day or he wouldn't have even imagined bringing up the infliction.

His father's silence let him know where they stood. Dan wasn't ready to open his heart up to his son again.

"I'm sorry." he added when he knew the response wasn't coming.

"Are you?"

"You know what, Dad. I lost a lot more in that accident than you did. And if I were sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself, you sure as hell wouldn't still be apologizing to me."

"You'll never understand." he said, still not looking at his son.

Nathan rose, with anger and pain swirling throughout his body. "I understand. You're still a selfish bastard. I don't know why I even tried."

"Nathan, honey. What's wrong?"

"Ask him? I've got to get out of here." he said as he slammed the door exiting the house. Not achieving his intended goal of dealing with the past. Instead, now he found himself dealing with a more painful reality, the one where he son's body rested beneath a concrete stone across town. He let the tears fall, and he prayed that he would soon receive the phone call from Brooke. The phone call that could alleviate all of the pain. The phone call where she would be in town, and whether they were together or not, he somehow wouldn't have to go through this alone in the town where he wasn't greeted with open arms.

* * *

Peyton couldn't decide which of the tasks she had laid out for herself that she wanted to accomplish first. She ultimately decided that Brooke and Julian should drop her off in front of the ranch that currently belonged to Coach Whitey Durham. He had been a savior in her life before Lucas Scott ever entered her world. He was a connection to her mother, a connection to Nathan, and a connection to a part of her self that she always needed. He was like the grandfather she needed, the family tie to make her complete. She had learned the hard way that blood relations didn't really matter in the long run, the realization of her adoption aided in that process. So she ascended the stairs to the one story log cabin resting quaintly on the corner of the property, anxious to see him again.

"Well, well, Miss Peyton Sawyer. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, dear?" He said as he reached to hug her.

"Whitey. It's good to see you again." She said as they released. He still looked the same, five years later. She was thankful he'd still remembered her. She wasn't the best at keeping in touch, a postcard here or there and a birthday card. Nothing big.

"You too, Peyton. You too. So what brings you by?" Not that he wasn't thrilled to see a former pupil or a girl who'd he thought of as a granddaughter. He knew she needed guidance in her life, from someone who would be there when she needed them, so he had tried to provide that. Along with memories of the woman she called mom.

"Life, you. How's retirement?"

"Boring as hell, but I'm surviving. I miss my boys though. I still go back and watch them play on Friday nights. Luke's doing a hell of a job with him. Can't think of a better replacement." he chuckled.

"He is a good coach." She agreed, remembering how well, he had taught the youth at the YMCA the week he had stayed with her in LA after senior year of high school.

"From the look on your face, it's safe to assume you two aren't still playing soap opera and dancing around your feelings. You've moved on. That's good." He never was one to beat around the bush, and she was thankful for his honesty.

"Our soap opera's been canceled." she laughed along with him as motioned her to seat in one of the two rocking chairs placed on the front porch, knowing they both spoke more freely when surrounding by the crisp North Carolina air.

"I imagine your's is just beginning though. Am I right?"

"You are too good at reading people."

"Did you find you some hotel trashing, eyeliner wearing pansy rockstar out there in LA?"

"Not quite, I was always more of a basketball star kind of girl. Sometime's I think I'll be wearing the number 23 till I die."

"Don't tell me you're back with Nathan Scott?" he sighed remembering their carcinogenic relationship when he first met the brooding artist and the hotshot ball player.

"No, but it's a long story. I've probably ruined my chances there." she smiled halfheartedly, not wanting to lay her emotions out there completely.

"You know, Peyton, the only things ruined in life are those you don't fight to fix. If you want Nathan, then you've got to fight like hell to make sure you get him." he winked at her, before adding. "Besides I know for a fact that Nathan won't put up too much of a fight. I talked to him last month, and he said he was shacking up with some ex girlfriend. I assumed he meant someone else, but apparently I was wrong. And if it's what you want you might just find a love like mine and Camilla's." She didn't know why she was surprised to hear that Nathan was still in contact with Whitey, but she was. Maybe he hadn't drifted so far from his former self as he tended to believe he had.

"Thanks Whitey. I think that may be just what I needed to hear."

"I had a feeling it was."


	22. Everlong

A/N: I do not own One Tree Hill. Nor do I own the Foo Fighters "Everlong" but I love the lyrics and I've decided that is totally my inspiration for finishing this story. Four hours in the Charlotte, North Carolina airport on a Friday afternoon means one thing for you guys….UPDATE. I'm still working on getting better. The airport turned out to be a good place to focus. The words streamed out. I am still working on my updating skills. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Peyton left Whitey's a short while later, catching a cab to her childhood home. She offered the the driver a small tip, it was all she could afford. She still wasn't sure what she was going to do to pay Brooke back for the plane ticket to Tree Hill. She had hoped to learn what the future held for her on this trip, not just mend relationships. She climbed the few steps up to the red house where her father was waiting inside, unaware that his little girl would be coming to see him.

She twisted the door knob to house, entering quietly before screaming "Dad. It's me Peyton. Are you home?" She wasn't surprised that door would be unlocked, she was surprised when her father appeared to be nowhere in the house. She meandered into the living room and glanced at the pictures above the fireplace. Two were there. One contained Anna and Peyton baking cookies in the kitchen with flower everywhere. The other was one she had never seen before, but that had been her choice. She flinched as the woman approached her from the staircase. "Sorry, I was hoping my dad would be here."

"He doesn't normally get home from work until around 5:00, but you're welcome to visit with me until he gets here." She said sweetly as she stood before the young woman.

"Actually, I kind of need to go visit someone else too. Do you think you could not tell him about me being home yet? I kind of wanted it to be a surprise." Peyton asked the woman. She stopped to look at the woman more closely. She was pretty for her age, nearly 50. She didn't look anything like Peyton or Anna or even Ellie for that matter. She had dark brown hair and striking blue eyes. Her voice had a quality that said you could trust her, an oddity in people these days.

"If that's what you want. I won't tell him. Really, though. You are more than welcome to stay."

"Thanks, but I need to this today. It's been far too long." It had been years since she had visited her mother's grave. And then there was that part of her that resented anything to do with the woman before her. The thought of getting to know her causing turmoil within the young woman.

"It was nice to finally meet you in person, Peyton. This is still your home, despite what you may think."

"It was nice to meet you too. I should be back later tonight sometime. Thanks for not telling." Peyton offered as politely as she could before making her way to the doorway of the house where she used to have free reign. Things had definitely changed in Tree Hill.

When she approached the graveyard, she saw him sitting beside the grave of the baby he'd buried years ago, and her heart had never sank lower for him. Why did he have to go through that? Why couldn't families just stay alive and flourish? Would that really be so wrong? She knew that she had ran away from him for a reason, but she could resist the urge to run towards him. She needed him to know that he wasn't alone, even if only for the day. She had spent the last fifteen years learning to accept her mother's death, and she knew that Nathan would need much more to accept the death of his son. She would simply visit her mom later.

She approached the broke man that she had first met soon after their reunion in LA. Not wanting him to feel as though he need to speak or contain his sadness, she simply place her hand on his shoulder. She could feel the erratic ness of his breaths as she stood behind him for what seemed like hours. He knew she was the one offering her hand to him, and he was thankful. Maybe this wasn't how he had imagined finding her in Tree Hill or convincing her that he was lost without her, but just maybe this would be more effective than anything he could have planned. And truthfully, he was thankful for the support, especially after his meeting with his parents earlier in the day.

When he could bear the silence no more, and he felt as though he might finally be able to compose himself he faced her, letting his blue eyes connect with her compassionate green ones. He was certain he would never forget their color, but he was also certain that each of the past few days he had spent without them was more torturous than coming home to the problems he had left behind. "Let's go back to LA." He said abruptly.

"What?" she was startled by his comment.

"Let's leave Tree Hill, go back to the town where things at least seem to make sense."

"Nathan, we can't. I have things in this town that I have to face. You and I have things to face."

"Fine. Then let's face them tomorrow. Come with me to Charlotte, just for the night." He could see her face as she contemplated the offer. She didn't know why she was contemplating it, probably because she was aching for the man before her. They had only been apart a few days.

"Let's get the Comet, and we can listen to rap." She conceded rolling her eyes slightly at the mention of rap, an action that reminded him of the couple they were in the very beginning.

"Thanks." He said as he stood and wrapped an arm around his shoulder and they walked back in the direction of her childhood home. She had spoken to her father about it just like week, reminiscing of a time when things had been simpler. He had told her he maintained it and it was still in the garage just waiting for her whenever she wanted it.

Soon they were passing the town exit signs, and getting farther away from their problems as the Foo Fighter's 'Everlong' played in the background. They were both pretty good at avoidance.

After arriving in the city, they pulled off of the interstate and found a nearby hotel tucked away quietly amidst the thick green North Carolina trees. Nathan parked the car while Peyton made arrangements for their third floor room. She greeted Nathan at the entrance, giving him back his credit card, and him returning her jacket and bag to her before they walked up the staircase to their mediocre room. They entered and Peyton immediately went into the bathroom to freshen up while Nathan examined the comfort of the double bed they would share.

"So now that we're here, what are we doing?" she said as she emerged from the bathroom with her hair tamed from the convertible ride over.

"Whatever. I thought we could eat and maybe go to the gym. There's a NBA training facility not far from the Bobcats arena that I can get into. If you want to that is."

"That's fine, but let's eat first. I'm kind of starving."

An hour later and with full stomachs they entered the basketball training facility. Nathan was amazed out how few people were there. He had expected there to more players practicing, but he was glad that he and Peyton could occupy a court to themselves.

"Give me the ball." She commanded, fully intent on continuing neglect of everything bothering them for a while. Dinner had gone smoothly. They spoke of everything, but that which needed to spoke about. Their topics ventured to weather to music to Chris to Rachel and Skillz. They were happy that the two had found each other. They didn't discuss the fact that Peyton had kissed Chris once upon a time, or the fact that Peyton had been kind of crappy friend to Rachel by leaving without telling her anything.

"Come and get it." He said back dribbling down the court for a lay-up. He was a professional ball player for a reason, and when she couldn't keep up with his pace, he felt pity and threw her the ball. She dribbled it slowly with one hand, looking at Nathan in hopes of intimidating him. It was foolish, but she missed the playfulness. Even in LA, they hadn't pushed aside the underlying issues so easily. She hadn't truly felt lighter in years, but today with him she did, even if only temporary.

He laughed out loud, unintentionally and her dribble quickened its pace. "Like taking candy from a baby." He said before approaching her, standing between her and the goal. He put his hand out to reach for the ball a few times, but retreated. He was toying with her abilities. Of course he could have gotten it if he wanted it; they both knew that. The surprise came when he actually did swipe the ball and turn in the direction of his own hoop. He also didn't expect it when she ran after him and jumped on his back, in an attempt to take him down.

The mere shock landed them both on the ground in fits of laughter, and neither to ignore just how good that felt in itself. She hadn't thought that he fall down, or that she would even catch him in the first place. She never imagined that she would be the one to initiate the kiss tat happened next, but she did. Nathan wasn't going to complain, and she obviously wanted to or she wouldn't have, so they continued, until a janitor walked through, coughing intentionally to make his presence known. They both gazed at each other awkwardly before either spoke.

"Thanks again for coming with me." Nathan said as he helped her from the ground.

"I'm having a good time. What do you say we call it a night, and go hang out at the hotel or something?" She was thinking that maybe they could watch a movie and curl up under the covers. She could rest her head on his shoulder, and he could wrap his arms around her. In each other's arms they both felt safer, together.

"I'd say that's a good idea." She saw the grin he flashed her, mischievous and suggesting. She knew that the night would lead them to the same place they had been almost every night for the past few months, but she also knew she couldn't change that. She was a sucker for his grin.

And hours later as she felt the sheet rubbing against her bare skin, she couldn't say she was surprised they ended up back here. But she also knew if she didn't say something now, she would say anything about it later, and it needed to be said.

"Nathan, we're going to have to talk about everything. We can't keep doing this; we've fallen back into this unhealthy relationship again." Despite her conversations with Julian, Brooke and Whitey, she still couldn't force away the thought that she and Nathan in a relationship wouldn't be healthy for either.

"We're both different now, it's different." He kissed her temple, a small gesture that she loved but knew didn't solve any of their problems.

"Are we? From where I stand I'm still the girl who's afraid of being alone in the world and you're still the boy who's still trying to live up to everyone else's expectations." She shifted herself, so that she could see his face, despite the fact that he was staring at the ceiling.

"We can make it work. We can work on our issues together." He was sure that they needed each other if they were going to come out afloat in their lives. The few short months had already made him more dependent on her presence than he had every been on anyone's.

"I love that you think we can, but it's naïve to believe that this won't crash and burn, Nathan." She was still staring at him, waiting for the moment he turned his head to see her and he would believe what she was saying as well.

"The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you've got to promise not to stop when I say when" he mumbled quietly, halfway to himself, halfway to her.

"What?" she thought she had heard the best argument she had ever heard in her life escape the man's lips, but she couldn't be sure because he had barely said it above a whisper.

"The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you've got to promise not to stop when I say when. It's the song that was playing on the way here."

"I know. I'm just kind of surprised you remembered them."

"They seemed fitting."

And just when she thought she could cut him out of her heart and her head, he pulled out the Foo Fighters. Did he know that was one of her favorites? Was he playing on her love for music? How could she say no to him now? Maybe he understood her more than she thought he did.

She laid her head back on his chest, and they both had an understanding that they would work on whatever this was that they had. They hadn't said the words out loud, but they had silently confirmed that agreement in the few seconds the preceded. That was all they needed.

As they lay there in the plush bed of the hotel room, limbs intertwined, neither could let the sleep overtake their bodies. They both had so many things going through the heads; so many issues that needed to be fixed.

"He still hates me." Nathan said breaking the silence, knowing that after what they just did, she needed to understand why he wanted to get away.

"Who?" she shifted so that her chin rested on his chest, and her intense green eyes stared up to him.

"My dad. When I ran that damn redlight, it was his truck that I pulled out in front of. He's still going to through rehab to learn to walk. He still doesn't forgive me." He said hopelessly. He didn't understand himself. Why did he need his father's forgiveness so badly? Maybe he needed someone else to offer him forgiveness for that day because he knew hfe would never offer it to himself. Visiting Jamie's grave only further solidified that in his mind.

"Oh, Nathan, you should have told me. You shouldn't feel guilty for messing up Dan's life. I don't care what the judge said, he killed his own brother. If he would have been in jail paying for what he did, this wouldn't have happened." She tried to reason for him. Despite Dan's release from prison and the so called 'fake' confession, everyone who knew Keith knew the truth. Dan Scott had pulled the trigger. Maybe Deb couldn't see it because she loved him, maybe Nathan couldn't see it because of his own grief, but everyone else could see it. Dan Scott should have been in jail.

"But I did mess up his life, Peyton. And we don't know that he killed Keith. That ruling could have been the truth. And even so, he's still my dad. Up until I was sixteen and really even everything after, all of my hard work was so that he would be proud of me. I wouldn't have made it to LA had he not been the kick in the ass I needed. I can't just forget that.. Can you understand that?"

"My dad got remarried. I haven't told anyone, but I didn't come home for the wedding. I was so mad at him. He quit his job for one that is in town. He did that for her, but he wouldn't do it for his own daughter. I'm still kind of angry about it, but I want to know that he forgives me for it nonetheless. I mean, we still talk, but it's just not the same." She let her mind drift back to the new woman in the house she grew up in. She wanted to like her, she seemed sweet enough, but Peyton still felt anger towards her.

"Tree Hill sucks" he said rubbing her back softly.

"So we'll work on our issues together."

"Together." He confirmed. "No matter how much we push each other away."


End file.
